Rosary Maintenance
by PatRox
Summary: It's hard being a growing harem protagonist. Especially when you have a best friend fifth wheel intervening in almost every thing. Or is it sixth wheel? Not really important in terms of route progression
1. Collar

**1**

" _So have you decided which school you're gonna apply to_?" He asked.

"Yeah, the same one as you." I tell him. "Let's be honest with ourselves, we'd be clueless freshman without each other. We're like Boke and Tsukkomi, inseparable."

"If we're going to be honest with ourselves then who's the Boke here?"

"You." I say putting on my poker face. "And before you say ' _no_ ', think of all the weird crap you get into that I try to bail you out of."

A silence went on for a couple seconds before he sighed. " _That's not the point, I didn't get accepted into any of the High schools we applied to_."

"Really? That sucks, what are you going to do now?"

" _I didn't say I didn't get into a high school, I said the ones we applied to_." He said, rubbing the back of his neck. " _Dad managed to get me into a free private school. He even made you a copy of the application, they should still be accepting them_."

A free private school? Is that even a real thing? Sounds like a scam to me. And isn't copying records like that illegal?"

" _Do you want the copy or not_?" He sighed waving the copied papers over the line.

"Fine." I conceded, sighing and pinching my nose to prevent the incoming headache. "Out of all the retarded things it's this . . ." I said after I set the phone into its receiver.

* * *

"...told you it was a scam..."

"This wasn't my idea! I didn't know this place had a dark creepy forest, a blood red ocean, and a haunted buildings!" He said waving arms animatedly.

"It was your idea, it was you and your family's fault, so take responsibility." I huffed crossing my arms. "It was all on the pamphlet."

"It could've been photoshopped by the art club or something."

"Excuses excuses, and they only prove my point." I say waving him off. "Let's just get going already."

"H-hey, wait up!" Tsukune cried out, as I walked into the dead forest leading to the school. "Don't leave me here man, I swear there is something wrong with this place."

Of course I naturally gave him my most deadpan stare. "A place called 'Youkai Gauken' with a blood red ocean, free boarding, a dead forest, and only now when you arrive do you realize how badly you messed up in going here."

"Ah, yeah..." he sighed.

A full moment of silence passed by us before I decided to cut that awkward moment.

"Two humans stupidly applied to a haunted school where the likelihood of them dying on the first day is extremely high."

"Shut up man," he said weakly jabbing at my arm. "That story might actually-"

A sound of chains was echoing through the forest, Tsukune had frozen still while I remained unaware of the coming danger... actually I was apathetic to his apparent fear of everything.

"Get out of the waaay!" Of a flying bicycle, on a crash course towards my head.

It was quite interesting, apparently Tsukune took on the first impact of a tire when said rider lost control of the bike after a nasty bump in the ground. They tumbled away with maybe a few bumps and a cut to show for it. I took a metal frame of a bicycle to the back of my unaware head and landed on a misplaced tombstone. Why the hell do they have these hazardous things? People die when they are killed you know.

A normal person would be conked out, period. As for a hard headed person like me? I got a nasty cut from the edge of the tombstone.

And it fucking hurt.

"Son of a bitch." I said through clenched teeth and a massive headache.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

No, I'm not okay, my head was bleeding dripping onto the surprisingly warm ground staining the ground black, or was it red? Either way my extremely cute girl senses were tingling like mad. I needed to open my eyes and see the beauty who would one day awaken my beast.

Bright pink hair and emerald-green eyes furrowed deep in concern holding a certain innocence to it...

Who faced Tsukune whom had a bit of dirt and a small cut on his cheek.

 _'You cheeky little shit.'_ I thought in bitter jealousy.

I want to get this out right now. I do not hate Tsukune. I DO hate the amount of crap I deal with when in close proximity of him. Anything bad that happens to him happen to me thrice fold. It's like a monkey's paw except my best friend being the drawback itself.

I'm pretty sure those two were in their own little world as I reached for the first aid materials in my duffel bag. I make sure to carry some for emergencies like this. They leaned towards each other for a passionate and out of nowhere kiss, as I applied some alcohol around my cut. And just when I was about to wrap up with some gauze...

Tsukune is screaming Bloody Mary like he hasn't gotten out of puberty and running around like a headless chicken. I'm actually quite serious about that.

As the good friend I am I grabbed him by the sleeve (after I put on my bandages of course) and told him to stop screaming. It involved the words: "Tsukune, please shut the fuck up. I landed on a tombstone after being hit by the metal frame of a bike, while you were off in lala land. Please tell me your amazing excuse as to how you can run around being so inconsiderate of your injured friend."

So I may have been a _little_ bit peeved with him. I'm pretty sure it's the headache. And justified. Barely even noticeable.

"I-I didn't... It was... oh, your head!" And pink haired girl was in front of me faster than my best friend. "It's a sad day when a stranger shows more care than your best friend."

"Yeah sorry about that, I'd be more concerned if _I wasn't_ _bitten_." His voice reaching octaves higher than it should have.

Didn't realize I said that out loud.

"I didn't mean to, I just... well I was a bit anemic I smelled your blood…"

"Alright, makes sense now." It really didn't but I'll choose to ignore it. "Let's pick up our stuff and be on our way."

It was no wonder why I didn't see Tsukune try to catch up. At least not until I saw them again.

Beginning of the year assembly is usually the same, it wasn't much different other than a creepy guy with glowing eyes I couldn't comprehend and the whole ' _try not to die_ ' spiel. He reminded me a bit of the bus driver.

And so we went to our assorted homerooms. I sat near the door for maximum escape effect. I found the classroom rather quickly due to lack of distractions.

I have places to go, things to do, and nothing is getting in my way.

Already there were few people there, the teacher who had just left to go do... something. Something quite pleasant too, by the way her tail was wagging. I think I already like this teacher, she certainly is ballsy to anally masturbate in class.

Off in opposite corner of the room was a group, one girl surrounded by a couple of guys; flirting, blowing kisses all that jazz. She even noticed me and sent me a wink of my own.

'Not interested.' I thought as I continued to scan the room.

A girl dressed waaay out of the norm when it came to uniforms, instead choosing to wear a large purple sweater with a black tanktop underneath, quietly writing in a notebook. She looked very dazed and looked everywhere the entire time. Perhaps she was drawing instead?

More and more students were piling in all with different and more unique hairstyles. I swear that one of them had rainbow hair.

'Hell even a guy in a Hawaiian shirt showed up! Seriously I'm going to ditch this tie as soon as I get the chance.'

Morning bell rang both Tsukune and Teacher arrived at the same time, one taking their place at the front the other in the back corner near flirty. I'm not exactly good with nicknames. I go for description rather than detail.

A school meant for integrating into the human race actually condones killing humans if they are found on school grounds.

* * *

What the actual fuck did he sign us up for?

I wasn't scared for myself (I was) but I was absolutely pissed at whoever decided, 'let's ruin this guy's life by sending him to youkai school even though he gave human responses.'

Seriously, fuck you attendance staff.

This time it wasn't Tsukune's fault. When it said race he had naturally put Asian. When it said race, he gave a human response. If only we had read a bit more of the fine print because when it said Youkai so many times it probably wasn't the name of the school they were referring to, it actually meant youkai species.

My face was normal as it ever was. Tsukune however, looked whiter than the human body should have any right to be. The guy next to him actually looked directly at him and gave him 'the look'. I'm sure we've all been given the look at one point but I never expected Tsukune to get the look from another guy.

Kudos to you Tsukki, for getting a guy's attention instead of a girl's.

He went even whiter at my hand gestures. In and out people. In and out.

But just when the teacher was asking for questions, our most beloved pink haired girl came rushing through the door.

"Sorry I'm late! I had to take care of something with the Headmaster."

"Well then," the teacher or as she would like to be known as Ms. Nekonome. "Why don't you introduce yourself then." She said in a voice a bit heavier in weight.

Hardly anyone took notice of her sarcasm because said girl waltzed forward and gave a small bow. "My name is Moka Akashiya. I hope we can all get along."

That day was probably the loudest any of the first year boys had ever been cheering shouting and praying to whatever deity they believed in thanking everything for the fact that they are alive to witness the most Kawaii moment in history.

I don't think it was particularly special, but one dumbass had to ruin it for everyone else.

"M-moka?" Our lovable idiot Tsukune had to go and fuck it up.

She gazed around before her eyes landed on her target. Her eyes glowed and every man (minus me) had to shield themselves from the sugoi.

"Tsukune?"

You could hear their hopes being crushed.

"Hey Moka." His awkward response was tinged with regret as soon as he noticed all the attention's on him.

"Tsukune!" She beamed as she skipped to her crush and grabbed onto him like a long lost lover.

Cue bloodbath. Every guy went from extreme euphoria to forming a KKK with the cause of killing Tsukune. Shedding tears of actual blood in pain.

What a lovely first day.

* * *

After our first and only class of the day, we wandered the campus to memorize where our classes are and later put our stuff in dorm rooms.

"Don't these look great!" Moka cheered, pulling Tsukune by the arm from place to place.

Old buildings covered in vines with chipped paint, and a few ridiculously large spider webs that cover the stone bricks.

"So much character it'd be criminal not to artistically capture in paper and pencil." I said, full sarcasm ahead. The buildings look like that cheap apartment you buy but never actually go to.

Being the good Samaritan that I am, I decided not to join the TTT (Tsukune Termination Troupe, dumb name by the way). Instead I followed them, introducing myself and apologizing for ditching them in the woods. She was quite forgiving about the whole thing and can 'understand what I was feeling'.

"Really? You can draw?" she asked paying more attention to her surrounding

They all gave me the look of unrighteous fury waiting to be released the moment Moka forgets all the attention she previously had on Tsukune. Eyes shone, daring me to make a move on her after she had stuck her claim on Tsukune.

I gave my prideful smirk and upped my posture, trying to goad someone into overreacting. "I'm no Pablo Picasso, but I take great pride in my ability in drawing people. Wanna see my favorite?"

I've never seen Tsukune look so depressed and angry at the same time, ever.

Let's bring his face back up, shall we?

I pulled out a photo of me and Tsukune at the end of our junior high, and my sketchpad. The differences were small, very easy to see for an expert but my drawing was more 2D. There was more emotion in my face than in the photo. And we were in a blank background.

"It's my pride and joy. A token of our friendship made through careful lining and perfections made by two people." I said feeling the softness of cloud nine. "I made it over the break with Tsukune's help." Not really.

The problem with some of my sketches is that they are disproportional most of the time. Whether it's scale, body proportions, or all of the above I couldn't seem to get it right.

But when I tried drawing my best friend, I got as close to perfect as I'll ever want. He added minor details like the shading.

She went starry-eyed, he was more relaxed and rubbing his neck bashfully as he always did when embarrassed. Considering he did nothing except exist and color, he was just basking in my glory.

I felt my starving ego grow, along with the surrounding malice. But enough gloating. "Well I'm off to the dorms gotta put this up somewhere."

* * *

The day ends and I found the urge to add to my pride. Maybe because I made a new friend but Moka's visage seemed appropriate.

And so I started the outline. A lithe form on my right

My eye twitched in annoyance as the knocking on the door continued. I am not awake, and if someone can't get that message, they can receive a boot up the ass and a middle finger.

I got up choosing to move quickly and quietly my head throbbing more than usual due to tombstoning and waking from a good dream of a harem of 5 girls.

Seriously, fuck you.

Opening the door shows Tsukune's troubled face. He knows how much I value my sleep and wouldn't dare wake me without good reason.

"I'm leaving." And I wanted to deadpan and do it hard but I can't. I'm too tired for this shit.

"And why is that? You were so excited to spend these last few years with Moka." I asked despite already having an idea.

Never mind, I don't have an idea, I already knew.

"We are at Youkai Gakuen, a school of yokai, by yokai, for yokai. We're just humans, both way over their heads." He started. "I know for a fact that staying because I have no real reason to fear anything would be a lie."

Tsukune has every rhyme and reason to run, he's human, not athletic, unconfident, and lacks any sort of strength that he can truly feel for himself.

"You're human as well and have nothing to guarantee your safety. Your punch is as strong as my dad's chili. Your awareness from headphones and phone addiction are shit. Only thing you have going for you is emotional control that requires therapy for lack of expression."

He really has nothing going for him here. He doesn't even have a real reason to stay. "I get that one day you are going to be a great politician, but I'm still staying. You sure you want to do this?"

"You don't get it! There's no reason to stay! Nothing here for us to accomplish! It's do or die depending on if whether we stay or go." He snarled.

"It's do or die no matter what you do." I calmly tell him suppressing a yawn."Nothing is going to change if you leave."

"What?!" Stop screaming

"Think this through carefully. You went to Youkai Gakuen and left on the second day. Why is that? A human won't be able to put the pieces together. But any monster with two brain cells will figure it out." I tell him. "Let's get something straight Tsukune. I'm going to stay. This is a nightmarish school full racist creatures. Out there it's not much different, except they know something's wrong with you."

"Then I guess I'll see you later," he said turning his back on me. "I honestly hope you live through this hellhole."

A mistake. He knew it was a mistake and yet. . .

I got dressed, uniform without the ridiculous tie. And chased after the guy who had left a confused and almost crying Moka, whom I grabbed by the hand. And continued running after the idiot.

"Wait what are you-?"

"No time to explain!" I cut her off immediately. "If we let him go he'll be in serious trouble."

"You're not going to leave? Aren't you human too?"

I growled hating the word. "Is this really the time for that? If he leaves it's going to be too suspicious for any youkai to take at face value. He'll die because the entire Youkai faction is going to know he's human the first time he applies for a job."

I felt more resistance as she grinded both of us to a halt. And she said it.

"What ARE you?" She screamed at me.

"Does it matter?! He's my friend going off to make a stupid decision. He's your friend. I'm your friend. And right now one of us is going to make a stupid decision."

"We weren't even friends!"

It didn't take a genius to figure out what I did next.

"Well then FUCK OFF. And don't bother trying to make friends if this is how you treat them."

I ditched her. Adding an annoyed huff at her ironic felt that he had to leave because of people who think like her, act like her. I should have known that we wouldn't get along, so I kept running harder and faster than I would ever admit after the one friend that needed me the most...

...but I ran into a living figure of bones and I was sent flying into the air.

And before I could land, I was burning...

* * *

...

I was bleeding, the ground was absorbing my still flowing blood there was a large bruise and a bit of torn clothing.

It was a scene I wanted to keep to myself.

The sky was an eerie red, the ocean gained a purple color. It was a hellish scene fit for a dead man.

Shining silver hair that makes the world seem brighter, and a soul piercing red eyes that felt like they were more than just for show.

I was in hell.

I knew this girl, but at the same time I didn't. Her eyes were sharper than anything I'd ever felt. She was glaring at me, and it hurt to know.

...Or it could be gratuitous amounts of blood coming from the left side of my body. Seems way more legit than evil eye.

"You left me." She said softly. Abandonment issues? Is that really what's going on here?

"No, let me correct myself." Well she hates men I guess? Girls are- "You left another me." She said voice growing a bit louder. Girls are horrible inconsiderate people.

Especially considering that "I never left anyone." I said filled with much contempt. "You were simply being unreasonable for not going out to look for my friend."

Her eyes narrowed further, the urge to run quickly rising.

"You lie, you had abandoned Moka." She said giving me the harshest of looks.

"I can't abandon someone who I was never there for." I said glaring just as harshly without the power she contained. "You heard it loud and clear. She wasn't my friend, just someone who hated humans."

"Don't get smarmy with me." She said jabbing at my still wounded left rib. "I need you to do me a favor. Look after the other Moka will you."

I was still wincing at the fact that she was messing with my injuries so much. It wasn't a favor, it was an order. Still considering she was kinda hot and I wanted to try it... "Only if you look after my idiot."

With a hum, and a clink of a rosary reattaching she fell forward...

Into my fucking bleeding side. God damn it! Determining by the moans she was letting out she may be licking up the blood.

The sky turned blue and ocean turned red, and I had 2 bodies to haul over to the infirmary. Oh wait it was 3, me, Tsukune, and naked guy. Moka is out for the count because resealing power is exhausting, no one is around to see this awkward mess.

"Fuck my life."

* * *

 **2**

It's the 3rd day and already I'm known for my growing amount of bandages. The nurse was actually a decent healer and managed to give me enough painkillers to let me move without further injury. The giant bruise looks more like a scar and I still have my first day bandage it was pretty much a given due to the fact that objects flying are a constant at Youkai. Might as well keep what I got.

I actually got up a bit later than usual and already I'm behind both Moka and Tsukune. And by the time I catch up Tsukune's running off into the distance.

"Let me guess... Blood?"

"I couldn't help myself! He just smelled so good." She said with a blush on her face.

"Eh, whatever. He'll be back soon, let's head to class."

* * *

I must have developed an eye twitch when I got here. It's really the only explanation as to why I haven't gotten Tsukune into some wrestling moves I wanted to try out.

He was almost late coming in with the flirt from the day before, after 'going to the infirmary'.

Someone end my virginal suffering. She looked like a mess, with ruffled clothes and a triumphant smirk that seemed to pierce through anything. Tsukune lost his V-Card on the third day. Bro-con is going to be livid about this. I sure as hell was.

It as a fairly normal class, students were chatting whenever the inattentive teacher went off into a daze about fish. It happened quite often too considering her choice in class material.

If it wasn't obvious that Ms. Nekonome was a nekoshou it should be. The woman couldn't stop talking and daydreaming about fish. Her ears and tail are often out for all to see, and any unfortunate soul who happened to point it out got clawed in the face.

"She's a real live bipolar cat."

I earned a scratch to the face for whispering my thoughts out loud.

Nothing really out of the ordinary happened that morning. Tsukune snapped out of whatever orgasmic haze he'd been in and actually paid more attention. Moka had just been switching between silently staring at Tsukune and the girl he was with. As for our last contender she simply sneered at Moka whenever she wasn't looking.

* * *

For fuck's sake, why me?

I found Moka crying her eyes out... again... and at the worst time too. I was hungry, and I needed food, stat.

I could've just left, just like that, but I had a deal ("deal" read as "order") to uphold. I'd probably die if I didn't.

"Moka, what's wrong with you." Quick and decisive actions need to be taken, especially with DID vampires. I wasn't exactly the best at comforting but I'll try not to be a dick about it.

"Tsu-tsukune... he... he..." She was hiccuping in between words trying to get out whatever the idiot had done. "He was using me... We weren't friends..."

"Then we find him and get answers as to how he plans on getting a new best friend in a matter of a few hours."

"Huh?"

"Think about it. When and why would Tsukune talk to someone who wanted to use him to hurt you?"

"It's just I take..." We didn't have time for that.

I grabbed her by the hand and again dragged her out of her slump, both literally and figuratively. It might actually become a recurring thing.

"If he really isn't your friend not only will we both have to find new best friends but at least we still have each other."

It was something that was supposed to be comforting. And hopefully make her less depressed. That's all they were, lip service for the desperate.

She grasped my hand more firmly and stopped struggling, instead running with me...

...And I definitely wasn't enjoying the sight of bouncing boobs.

Does she seriously not wear a bra?

She had apparently had Tsukune's scent memorized (wink wink, nudge nudge), and was now leading me towards the infirmary?

Oh hell no.

With a burst of newfound speed, I kicked open the door startling the lone teenagers in there.

I cleared my throat for the scolding they would both receive.

"No fucking or masturbating in the infirmary!" I pointed at the bluenette.

"Tsukune! You must always carry your condoms." I said pointing out his empty hands. "And above all else... Why did I find Moka telling me you were using her and no longer her friend!"

"Shouldn't that have been the first and only thing you say." said Tsukune, deadpanning in the arms of the very flustered succubus. It's unmistakable with that tail of hers.

"Obviously not. I'm pretty sure you two already had sex in this room." I said nodding sagely. "The ruffled hair, the dazed looks as you entered late into class, even now embracing as lovers. There's no doubt about it, we've found your secret girlfriend!"

There can't be fault in my logic. If there was, the problem is way more serious than I thought. "Seriously Tsukune, you have the worst taste in girlfriends. Can't you pick someone decent like Moka? I mean it's only our first week." I said rubbing away the headache.

And just as I said that I ducked to avoid the 5 extremely long fingernails that threatened to take my head.

"Moka this, Moka that. I'm sick of hearing about that goody two shoes vampire." She said glaring daggers. "I am Kurumu Kurono, and this was supposed to be my year where all the boys worship me."

I let that sink in for a few seconds.

"So a succubus wanted control of the entire school? You certainly failed at keeping my eyes on you." I said getting back up. "I lost interest as soon as I saw the crowd of boys at your desk. You can't keep a guy so you want a harem? That's actually kinda sa-" I jumped back, her nails scratching only the surface of my nose, as I tumbled back.

"Shut up Shut Up SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screeched punctuating every word with an attempt at cutting my head off. "I'm sick of your shit!"

She nailed me directly in the stomach but still I moved away. I need more bandages. An d learn how to shut up. I can't exactly going around pissing off every person I meet anymore.

I had no idea what Moka and Tsukune were doing but right now it looked they were kissing. God it pissed me off so badly, loses his V-Card and he's all that. I've been in this game way longer than he has.

I was bleeding out, and Kurumu didn't know when to quit. So I had to come to an executive decision . . .

Fuck this shit, I'm out.

I turned my back on her making sure to crouch before doing so to avoid anymore cuts, and tried sprinted out of the building.

Mind you I was being chased by a succubus and bleeding so some movements were a bit faulty and she was flying after me. It didn't take too many twists and turns to find out I had not lost her at all. If anything she looked raving mad, clawing at anything that got in her way. If I turned around I could probably see some T&A. But alas I was going to die.

For I had tripped.

When you trip and fall, it is expected for the body to ache a bit. When you fall with injuries it hurts even more.

I wasn't getting up, I knew that for a fact. Because it hurt like a bitch.

I couldn't move, the adrenaline running out, the blood again leaking into the surrounding area, this time in large quantities. Everything ached again, except I was used to it.

Then I felt the urge to run again. Just like last time it was not something to be ignored.

It was Moka unsealed.

I got the rundown from Tsukune. Moka's rosary seals away her true form and personality along with a portion of her power. Apparently he was the only one who could actually take it off, tested when either me or Moka tried.

So why did she reseal herself? She could've helped me drag Tsukune's less injured body to the infirmary.

Earlier they weren't kissing like I thought they were. They were trying to take off the rosary.

Kurumu was also distracted by the oppressive force. Which I wanted to take full advantage of. I got up taking off the bandage from my head wrapping it around my chest.

And like a bullet she struck, kicking her opponent away like a football. Kurumu was certainly flying like one.

"Thanks for the save," I said, feeling more relieved than ever before.

"I honestly could care whether you live or die." She said. "I protect your idiot and you protect mine. Isn't that how the deal works." (read "the deal" as "my order")

There goes my twitch acting up again. "Sure, that's how things work. I also thought that if one was died the other would have to worry about the dying."

"As if you could protect a vampire" she scoffed, grabbing a frantic Kurumu by the tail, before swinging her around and throwing her into a tree outside.

Huh. That was interesting. "Where's Tsukune?" I asked thoughtfully.

"Heading this way." She said with a flick of her hair. "Just let me finish up here." And she stalked off towards the fallen succubus.

Tsukune was, like Moka said, running in our direction.

"Hey buddy how-"

He didn't stop to chat he ran right past me, past Moka, and stood directly in front of the fallen succubus. With arms outstretched and his face set in stone, he rushed in front Moka just to prevent whatever may happen next.

"Just like last time. That idiot." I said to myself.

Even though it's been 2 years, I guess some things never change.

Like this not being a damn manga or anime.

"I need to borrow something."

I spun around a bit confused before four fangs bit into my neck.

It hurt. It hurts. It really fucking hurts. I can't put into words how badly it hurt me.

After only a gulp she released me. And everything went black.

* * *

I can't express how glad I am to be alive.

I don't know how close I was to death, but I know that I briefly went into hypovolemic shock, suffered mild anemia, and still feel like shit. Luckily someone was generous enough to hand the doctor some type O blood packages. At the end of the year I might have a page in the yearbook for most injured.

The sun was setting outside, I missed lunch and I might miss dinner as well.

"This sucks" I frowned into my hands.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

The door slid open, and to my surprise it wasn't Tsukune or Moka who came in, but Kurono. Or was it Kurumu?

"I brought you some food. I figured you'd be hungry from all the blood loss."

I nodded and my stomach growled in agreement.

She held up the small bundle in her hands. It was two lunchboxes the other probably made for either herself or Tsukune. She set them on the small table next to my bed. Separating the two and opening them. Small onigiri and omelette along with octopus sausages.

And it smelled good.

"Itadakimasu" I chanted digging into the food without thought.

It was all awkward silence from then on. I certainly wasn't going to change that.

"Umm..."

It seems Kurumu wasn't one for silence, despite our awkward.

"So, you're Tsukune's best friend?"

And she wasn't good at trying to make conversation with a guy she tried to kill. Actually I don't think anyone would be.

"Yep. Ever since middle school. Inseparable Boke and Tsukkomi." I said.

"So who's the Boke?" She asked with an impish grin on her face.

"Tsukune of course." I waved away. "With all the craziness that happens to him, I'm the only guy who can take it with a straight face."

"I figured you were the Boke because of earlier."

"It's hard not to misunderstand. I knew you were a succubus the moment I saw you, not literally of course." I said closing my eyes nodding sagely. "What am I supposed to assume when you are late to class with ruffled clothes and satisfied looks? Not to mention all your flirting on the first day."

"When you put it like that it sounds undeniable. Still that was really harsh what you said back there. Iḿ sorry things ended with me losing my temper but"

"But nothing. It's hard trying to look after a DID case and a pacifist." I interrupted. "From my point of view I skipped lunch to help figure out how my best friend could betray them. I run into you two in a bed. Overall it looked like you were just using him."

"But I changed my mind."

"Have you? Tsukune is really trusting and if you break that trust..." I said trailing off. Not that I could actually do anything.

"It won't happen a succubus's love is unbreakable. I would never do anything else to hurt my destined one."

Hold. The Fuck. Up.

"Your destined one." I said trying to understand how the fuck she came to that conclusion. "Is Tsukune, because..."

"Protecting me against the unbeatable, knowing he wouldn't win. He's brave and kind enough to stand up against the impossible." She said "and hopefully I can learn to love him more as he will love me."

'Insanity Levels are over nine thousand.'

"And since you're his best friend I was hoping to nurse you back to health." She said shyly looking from me to the lunchboxes.

I think I get it. "You want to know what his favorite foods are."

"Preferably sweets, those are my specialty."

"I guess I was wrong. Tsukune definitely has an amazing girl. Moka's got nothing on you, I think."

It was the start of a beautiful friendship. One revolving around setting Tsukune up for a wedding so I can be best man and he can stay Kurumu's man.

* * *

I got back to my dorm room satisfied and exhausted despite having slept for a couple hours. So I did some homework to further increase my boredom until I got an aneurysm.

It was nice. Then I want to draw. And so I did.

The remastered masterpiece now has an outline of a sealed Moka leaning on me without a face nor the features to define her. I touched up on that and added the frame of Kurumu lying her on Tsukune's shoulder.

It was so hard not to draw melons for boobs.

* * *

 **3**

It's been a few days since the Kurumu Harem hiccup and things have calmed down. For the most part.

Kurumu made true with her claim by shoving her chest in his face every morning. Moka being the Otome that she is tried prying her off her "friend". When asked if she would do the same for me she said "yes?" with great reluctance. As if trying to be a good friend without making someone jealous.

Someone cry me a river.

I play moderator in their antics. Preventing Tsukune from dying in marshmallow hell, giving Kurumu Tsukune preference in gifts, and as for Moka . . . What do I actually do for her? Other than tell her to stop taking so much of Tsukune's blood, even when she asks for it. It is scientifically impossible for him to be alive at this point. The guy looks like a zombie every morning, it's a wonder he was alive enough for testing.

We aren't exactly the closest of "friends", and I use the term very loosely for our relationship.

I digress. The days rolled on until we had to the club festival. The very bane of my existence and the importance in Tsukune's life.

I'm sure I said this before but I'm not good with people. And joining a club involves interacting with people. Now add Moka + Youkai Clubs adoring fans. What do you get?

A shit ton more people than necessary. Club invites from Acupuncture, Potion making, Human Discovery, and even the Beauty Appreciation Club. I even was pulled to the side to be asked to join the TTT. Which turned into a real thing.

How did they even get that established within the first week? And why are they dedicated to both the people I'm watching out for?

I politely declined telling them I'd keep both clubs in mind when it came to a final decision. I wasn't lying either. Appreciation of beauty is always . . . appreciated. And eliminating Tsukune doesn't sound appealing, but everyone likes a spy amongst the ranks.

We've been wandering for about half an hour. And still no interesting clubs. And by interesting clubs I mean ones not interested in molestation, acting murderous, or just being outright horrifying.

Where exactly did they plan on throwing those baseballs? My junior hurts watching them try and hit the ball the ball into whatever unfortunate soul happened to be looking at Moka.

Very accurate, they were with aim.

Our heroic normal people (me) left off at: "So Newspaper club is a no-go? I always wanted to be a part of interrogation."

"Don't you mean a investigation?" Tsukune asked narrowing his eyes.

"Same thing. Reporters are like sharks snapping at you for any and all details."

"Nah they look too nice for that."

"They look nice enough but they lead you on like a lost puppy." I close my eyes rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Then they grab at any detail and twist it into something more."

"I'm telling you man that's not it."

"You're only saying that cause the female reporters look cute." I counter jabbing my finger into his still chubby cheek. It's unbelievable that this guy is going to be 16 and still has so much baby fat.

"That's not true. Moka's way cuter than those girls." He said not realizing the confession he gave.

A face full of boob entered both mine and Tsukune's vision. Whilst two arms wrapped around our heads.

'So this is what marshmallow hell feels like ' I thought. 'It's a good thing I'm not struggling, this feels too nice to NOT stop feeling.'

Struggling is what causes you to lose oxygen so much faster. The proof clearly being me on cloud nine, and Tsukune was drowning. But within the very same 7 seconds we were let go (yes I counted).

I was extremely disappointed, Tsukune was extremely relieved. There was simply not even enough boob for me to feel. I really need a girlfriend like Tsukune's.

* * *

"Moka, why are we here?" I said watching the 'beach balls' fly.

"We're waiting for Tsukune to decide whether or not to join the swimming club." She said shivering at the sight of the splashing water.

"And why aren't we waiting from the bushes or going to check out the last of the stalls?" I said watching Tsukune get more boob to skin than necessary.

"I don't even know." She said stalking off into the opposite direction.

"So are we doing Newspaper club? I seriously don't like the idea of swimming club." I said catching up to her.

"Of course. Let Tsukune have his fun with those big boobed bimbos and Kurumu." She said with a huff. Jealousy is a bitch after all, and she clearly had Moka in her grasp.

It was at this moment, Tsukune knew, he fucked up.

"Somebody help us!"

The deadpan was so strong on my face. The worry in Moka's reached maximum moe as she dragged me back to the pool. Where we were met with mermaids neck in and humping any male in the pool . . . and Kurumu.

Never forget the girl-on-girl action. Or rather girls-on-girl. It would be wrong to discriminate.

"If this were any other day we'd be screwed." I said dragging out the cardboard cutter from my pocket. "Luckily I remembered to bring repellant."

Tsukune and Moka have a bad habit of getting into unnecessary trouble, usually ending with the pulling of a rosary and a swift kick to the head. You can bet your ass however my problems won't end with that.

Considering I have to watch over two idiots instead of one, I have to have some sort of insurance that doesn't involve a kick. Or getting my ass kicked

It took a few nights of scanning the rulebook. One to make sure that I read it correctly, and two so that I have full protection against any idiot that says I'm breaking the rules.

Weapons are allowed at this place. Destruction of property is not. And there are no rules against humans, nor active killing of anyone suspected of being human, but rather something that is done that the teachers simply don't put a stop to.

Those are the three things I paid attention to as the very sharp blade harshly ejected from my hand into a fin.

The effect was immediate, screeching that stopped everyone in their tracks as the little Mermaid transformed back into human form just to remove the blade from her leg and direct her gaze towards us.

"Kill the bastard!"

They all started transforming back into human form and climbing out of the pool rushing towards us.

Water rushing up from their bodies onto the pool deck caused massive ripples strong enough to cause some of it to fly out of the pool. Near us where Moka was now actively shrieking and scurrying backwards.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Human culture says holy water is most effective against a vampire, but no one questioned water itself. Moka couldn't stand water because it's her weakness, not out of a petty fear of the past.

Now I feel like an asshole.

I pushed Moka back and high kicked one of the many that rushed me. Another grabbed me by the lifted appendage which earned em a jaw breaking twist of the head.

Seven of them were clawed into submission as Kurumu flew above her destined one's head.

They all started transforming back into human form and climbing out of the pool rushing towards us.

Water rushing up from their bodies onto the pool deck caused massive ripples strong enough to cause some of it to fly out of the pool. Near us where Moka was now actively shrieking and scurrying backwards.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Human culture says holy water is most effective against a vampire, but no one questioned water itself. Moka couldn't stand water because it's her weakness, not out of a petty fear of the past.

Since that was not me. Another little piranha-mermaid-thing took a bite at my arm rendering it completely useless due to pain.

"Kurumu get Tsukune outta the water." I said using my other arm to punch and push any fish person in my presence.

It caused more blood to spurt of my arm and land on some of them and they greedily licked up whatever they had on each other. If only it weren't blood and their faces were in human form.

It'd be a pretty . . . "nice" scene. Hell even now they looked like they were melting. It was really weird having them look at me like that. I really wish I saw Moka's reaction to tasting my blood. Because this situation is . . . awkward to say the least. Some of them were even completely reverting back to human form as they held their faces in content, probably a foodgasm. Or is it bloodgasm?

Either way they were immediately kicked away by an even more irate Moka. Well more angry than her mostly passive aggressive persona would be willing to show.

Hell despite her weakness for water I'd figure she'd be melting due to even having Tsukune touch her. He did just get out of a pool of bisexual piranha-mermaids after their "swimming lessons".

Cheeky bastards, the whole lot of them. All swimming in more than just water.

I was now being caressed and shielded from the vampire queen of the school (by the way someone actually crowded around the school about it. The name just stuck). The matter would be as touching as when Tsukune protected Kurumu. Except I'm not him and these ladies only want my blood.

Irony, you too, are a bitch. Except you want my blood too.

"You really don't know when to quit do you?" She scoffed flicking away a stray piece of hair.

The few that were still in the water were actively splashing water all over the place forcing Moka to back away.

Anyway, what's her face, leader of mermaid-people or whatever still had my blade in her hand was also splashing water and blood from the pool all over the place.

This simply won't do.

I ran around anyone on the pool deck trying to reach the diving board. Stepping on hands didn't stop me and curious, murderous looks are being thrown left and right as I jump onto the diving board doing a flip before drop kicking the shit out of crazy blade wielding mermaid.

I really wish someone was recording that. Awesome movies will be made from that.

Knocked unconscious she stopped flailing and let go of my cardboard cutter before it was once again in my grasp.

Of course I was underwater and no one was there to save me from a stray set of teeth.

Correction: no one could save the girl with said stray set of teeth.

I swung my weak arm which held my blade though it was slow, there was no a long light cut to show for my efforts.

I forgot to mention something. I am quite possibly the slowest swimmer of the generation. So any mermaid could just grab at me and drown me to my almost death.

Nonetheless I continued my slow swim out of the pool, clothes heavy from not even chlorine just pure water.

Nonetheless the red sky was a comforting sight for me as well as the pile of fish people and Moka walking off into the dark forest. Yet despite the sky turning blue again, Moka hadn't resealed herself.

Wait are those sparks?

I thew my blazer to the side as well as my dress shirt which were uncomfortably wet. Exposing my scarred ribs and pierced chest. It's a miracle that I'm healed at all.

I'd take off my pants but that'd be awkward as fuck trying to explain why I'm naked.

I inhaled sweet sweet air and released the pent up aggression.

"Newspaper club, anyone?" Tsukune then slapped me.

* * *

Such a long day I had. So much going on, a moment of badassery that I really wish I had got on camera, club fair, and other shit I can't remember. And best of all I got to join the Newspaper club like I wanted.

I found a little present for me from a secret admirer. Probably one of the fish people who had a lick of my blood. Instead it was a CD. It came with a note.

"'Your amazing moment was caught on camera with the collaboration of a dog. Please enjoy your video and place outside your door when finished'. What the hell does that mean?" I said. "I hope they didn't make porn for me."

Insert disc into DVD player. And watch amazing moment in dramatic angles.

A face set in determination.

A running pace through a bloody floor.

He leaps towards the diving board. It bends down with his weight.

He leaps, doing a flip, silhouette blackened by the red moon.

Gravity takes him and places his foot on the monstrous female, quite possibly giving her brain damage.

It. Was. Majestic.

Whoever made this, with whatever dog they had, was fucking awesome. Kudos to them.

I prepare for sleep, and have more dreams about more awesome stunts. I was going to be remembered for greatness.

* * *

 **4**

Classes ended and we go to our respective clubs.

We had, as planned, joined the newspaper club. It only took a couple of murderous mermaids and pestering. But I guess it all worked out in the end. Miracle healing helped my arm gain all feeling back, which eventually is to say it hurt like a bitch.

Still have no idea how anyone doesn't even suspect Tsukune to be remotely human, super healing is an inborn trait of all species dammit.

And it is hard trying to make a pacifist seem monstrous.

The video I watched yesterday was quite interesting. I even returned everything back into its encased package and left it outside my door. By morning it was gone but I have no regrets knowing that it exists.

Besides that, I think there's something wrong with newspaper club.

"Are we the only ones in the club?" Moka asked. The four of us sat in desks in the multimedia room.

"Hopefully we'll have our alone time together while the other two are out." Kurumu squealed burying Tsukune's arm in her cleavage.

"I guess the club was about to be disbanded before we joined." I said deadpanning. "No wonder she was self advertising."

"I blame you for this." Tsukune deadpanned at me. "Didn't you find it suspicious how there was no stand for the newspaper club."

"There might have been one. We might not have seen it though." I deadpanned harder.

"You were the one who wanted to join. I'm pretty sure you would notice the club without our help."

Our deadpans clashed against each other, trying to show the other who is the better Tsukkomi. Alas none can withstand my blank all seeing eyes, and Tsukune turned away after seeing the cosmos in my eyes. And turned back after realizing Kurumu's cleavage was closer than he remembered.

This is why Tsukune sucks at card games.

Our eccentric cat teacher had simply waltzed in, literally waltzed with an imaginary figure, and gave us a cheery "Welcome to the newspaper club!"

There was an awkward silence before I filled it with an awkward slow clap. She took it with pride giving a small bow before continuing. "I'd like to apologize for the large space."

'No, I really do appreciate it. A good habitat for the Tsukkiomi.'

"But do not worry, my first years. You do have your senpai to help you with anything you need to know."

"Senpai?" Tsukune asked dumbly.

He stepped in bouquets in his hands. Hand on his head giving his most charming smile.

"Hey Tsukune." I whispered from behind him. "We found a wild drama king."

"I heard that!" He said indignantly. "Anywho, my name is Gin'ei Morioka, 2nd year and president of the club. Please call me Gin"

"Nice to meet you." We chorused all at the same time. Funny considering none of us are ever on the same page.

"I was expecting two young ladies to join my club, and had prepared a personal gift from me." He said holding out the flowers for 'two young ladies'. "Alas I was not able to find gifts for the other two. I was not aware about you joining."

"Gin'ei I told you specifically, before the club fair began that a boy and girl were interested. You even set up the desks."

I heard something crack, I suspect it was his lie falling apart. Also how did she know anyone was interested at all?

Oh right, she can't be a complete ditz. She's still a teacher.

"Anyway, I may not be here most of the time. So be sure to ask him about anything before coming to me." She continued all shits and giggles like. "Make friends with your senpai." And she trotted off to who knows where.

She threw Gin into the vampire's den of curious freshman as to how much of an asshole he really is. Pray to the Nekonome god before ye is smited, you douche.

"That was embarrassing." No shit. "But welcome to the Newspaper club, where finding the story lies within carefully formatting plans to infiltrate the psyches of our peers." He said with a serious face.

My excitement grew at being able to accomplish my lifelong dream.

"We may run into a few walls, people aren't particularly open around here. But we can persevere to get the full story."

I should tell you something before I continue my dialog. Whenever I get excited enough, I tap my foot extremely quickly and sometimes extremely loudly. I like to think I've made the habit less obnoxious, but there are some people who think it's annoying.

It was that habit... "Nah I'm just kidding, it's not that serious." That almost forced me to stomp my feet in anger at my moronic senpai. Though to be honest I already had a shit impression of him.

"But still we have a serious story to cover." He said recovering a bit of respect from me. "A serial pervert who peeps on girls in the locker room."

"That sounds like a good one." Kurumu said getting closer to Tsukune. "I won't allow anyone but Tsukune to see my goods."

All three of us felt our minds crack a bit at that sentence, all for different reasons.

"I agree. Except no one is going got be showing anything of theirs to Tsukune." Moka cut Kurumu's embrace to halt hugging Tsukune 'protectively'.

Three cracks. Two larger than the first one.

They got into their little girlfriend spat as usual. And so me and Tsukune naturally tuned them out. Our senpai however took a bit longer to shake out of his stupor. But it took a pat on both his shoulders and shaking of all of our heads.

It wasn't worth it. Was not worth the thought of interfering.

"I have a question before we start our investigation." I said completely ignoring Tsukune moving to prevent the girls' argument from getting physical.

"Go ahead and ask it." He said looking at the tug of war involving Tsukune and the girls.

"Are you the serial peeper?" Every occupant in the room stopped to stare at me, as if I was incredibly stupid.

"It's a valid question. I don't know what he does in his spare time." I said trying to shift the attention off of me. "It happens all the time in man- I mean literature."

Everyone simply dismissed my ideas. And went on with the investigation.

* * *

 **Step 1: Make people aware of the issue.**

We basically went around making posters and hanging them in popular places . . . Or so I thought.

"Is this high enough?" Moka said shaking a bit on top of the small ladder.

"Not quite." Our 'beloved' club president said from his seat. Behind the girls. Looking upwards. It didn't take rocket science or experimentation to figure out what he was doing. I didn't bother calling him out, instead taking a picture with my complimentary gift from the perv himself.

Tsukune also happened not to know what he was looking at. And his small yell of surprise and embarrassment. Acting like he wasn't checking out all the girls in swim club. His reaction actually caught the girls' attention who happened to gloss over the leader of our operation.

"Is something the matter Tsukune?"

If his blushing and stuttering didn't answer their question. Gin'ei seemed more than willing to help out.

"Nothing at all. Tsukune was just taking a peek up your skirts." If that didn't warrant Moka slapping Tsukune out the open window and running out the door I don't know what did. Kurumu simply hopped down from the stool now modestly holding her skirt down.

"Great job asshole." I muttered to myself as everyone else was distracted.

* * *

 **Step 2: Investigation.**

The misunderstanding notwithstanding, everyone knew we had bigger fish to fry. Moka and Kurumu were off investigate the guys and we guys were left to investigate the girls. Why couldn't the girls do all the investigating and the guys put up the posters? And it gets better?

"Please tell me why we're here." I asked.

We didn't go asking girls for testimony or anything like that. We snooped around to the back of the girl's locker room.

Things were not looking good for us.

"The plan is simple. We stake out in the area until we find the pervert. I'll go find another place to scope out. You two stay here, inspect the place if you deem it necessary."

My mind zeroed in on his retreating frame and parting words.

'This motherfu-'

"So what now? Should we check out the place?" Tsukune asked taking peeks around the trees.

"Have you learned nothing about Gin? He's trying to set us up. Make us, or more specifically, you."

"No man. He's fine. He apologized and gave me a better camera than yours."

"Is it brand new?" I asked.

"Ano..."

I snatched the camera to look at the contents on the digital screen.

Pantyshots, nudity shots, and worst of all private bedroom shots. And almost a full roll of girls in them too.

"Case closed Tsuk-Tsuk. We found our criminal."

Except he wasn't near me anymore he was looking at the tall camera stand before deciding to take it down himself.

* * *

A loud shout of "I found the pervert" from Gin'ei later and we are in the cafeteria tables aligned in rows in front of a stack of them and the teacher of PE, Mr. Kotsubo at the top presiding as the judge for Tsukune's trial. All prepared by the drama club.

I don't know when this was set up or even why, but I had been forced by said club to dress for the occasion. Blue suit and red tie. They even gel the hell out of my hair to make it more professional, albeit making me look like a hedgehog. I was made the defense attorney of Tsukune while Gin'ei was the prosecutor for our trial.

Though to be honest he rocks the red business attire. He really looks classy. Of course Kotsubo even got into the act wearing a black robe.

With a pound of his fake gavel he began. "Now presenting the trial of Tsukune Aono; Serial peeper."

'I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to declare that

"The prosecution is ready, Your Honor." Said Gin giving an English man's bow.

"The Defense is ready, Your Honor."

"Would the prosecution begin it's opening statement?"

"Tsukune Aono was found near the crime scene where a small camera was placed at the windowsill of the girls locker room. He then tried to pin the blame on the defense."

He looked to me.

"No. The prosecution, the defendant and the defense were investigating the matter of the serial peeper. We were trying to keep a lookout in areas he might appear."

"Prosecution?"

"This was merely the opening statement. I also have a witness to prove his perversion."

"Very well bring in the witness."

And Moka walked into the center of the Lions den willing yet unwilling to condemn her friend.

"Witness, were you perved on by the defendant?"

"Y-Yes." She said quite solemnly.

"I see. I find the defendant..."

"Objection!" I said banging my fist on the table. "You can't declare a verdict without hearing the all the testimonies."

"We have physical evidence. Pictures of the defendant in compromising positions with cameras holding... more proof. Even this witness claiming the defendant's perversion."

"I have reason to believe that Tsukune couldn't be the criminal from a single fact." I say getting ready to pull my trump card. "He can't even handle this next witness."

"Wait I thought this trial was an opening act for the drama club?"

It was a true blue weapon of mass erection. Kurumu Kurono flying at top speeds to insert face into cleavage.

From there a bomb of malice flooded the room as Tsukune tried desperately to escape the marshmallow hell.

"Witness Kurono, please take the stand to prove the defendant's innocence."

"Of course."

 **Step 3: Cross-examination**

She told of her many nosebleed - worthy escapades, the weak hearted passed out from sheer embarrassment, the strong passed out from blood loss.

"And that is why Tsukune should be set free."

"I see..." his honor said wiping away the now stopped blood. "And he wasn't interested in camera play?"

A few more passed out.

"He was too embarrassed for it. Besides he doesn't have any cameras."

"But your testimony contradicts everything this trial was based upon. Why the hell am I wearing this robe then? Why is there even a trial if we all know he's guilty?"

"The whole point was to prove that the cameras aren't Tsukune's." I said with a copyrighted smirk. "Yesterday we had just joined the newspaper club."

The look of fear entered the prosecution's eyes. "Where gifts were handed out. The girls got flowers and the guys got two sets of cameras."

The realization now realized by the girls. "Camera's that were already filled to the brim with data."

The judge finally understood. "This data starts from about a week ago. This gives Tsukune no time to take the pictures up on joining the club because the pictures were already taken."

Everyone finally gets it "I accuse Gin'ei Morioka of framing Tsukune Aono for the peeping of Youkai Academy. With this picture of him looking up two innocent girls skirts as proof of this." I said holding the photo from earlier.

Pitchforks, broomsticks, and softball bats were raised, ready to attack the frame pervert who was now shaking at the stand.

And he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

He settled his insane laughter to say his last words.

"I still have proof that he was peeking into the girl's locker room."

"What?!"

Weapons were raised at the two men inquisitively. Wondering which one to punish.

"This picture says a thousand words." He says holding up the photo. "And they all show Tsukune holding up this camera to the window."

"May I have a copy?"

"Of course. You have lost your ground I may as well show you why." He says throwing the picture at me.

Caught between my two fingers I inspect it.

"It's a fake." I declared. "Without a doubt."

"Date and everything is unedited. You simply can't deny the facts."

"Not the picture itself, but the way you are portraying it. Notice the blurs from near the window. Meaning that Tsukune wasn't setting it up, rather he was taking it down. And to further disprove your theory I have a picture of the prosecutor himself setting this all up. Sent by an anonymous source."

The pictures contrasted each other like night and day. Literally. Tsukune taking it down in the day, Gin'ei setting it up at night.

His eyes were overshadowed by his bangs. "Damn it, Snow Ball."

"It's over Morioka. You lose."

And with a mighty roar he leaped over the growing crowd at the prosecution stand, I mean table, towards me. Impending doom increased when he turned into a werewolf midair ripping his classy suit. With claws aimed at my neck I fell on my ass as he flew over me, and leapt back at me now a mighty punch he sent me out the closed window, glass shard burying themselves in my suit. The aerodynamics of my hair however sent me a bit farther than usual and I skidded across the ground.

Fucking werewolves. I really hope this wasn't the dog that helped with that awesome video of me.

Taking out my knife I look around for a werewolf who was rampaging inside the cafe. Honestly why did I look around like a dumbass? What was I expecting to see? That he had chased me out here like a true warrior or some shit like that?

Instead I watch as people are thrown left and right. Gin clawed and tore at everyone in sight. The teacher was KO'd before he could actually do anything important. Kurumu was... somewhere. Moka and Tsukune were off somewhere, probably trying to take off the rosary.

Same old sky change colors bullshit happens. I really want to know the physics behind the moon showing up and the color changing.

And Gin'ei was apathetically kicked out the school. It really is interesting considering he never had the chance to gain power from the moon. But for good measure...

I limped over to him with the thought in my head. I reached his not dead corpse "Smile for the camera Gin." and stepped on his wolfy balls. His howl echoed off in the distance for good measure.

We had just finished **step 4: Asskicking verdict**.

* * *

On the front cover of our newspaper was the semi-dead form of a werewolf named Morioka Gin'ei. We didn't exactly go full creative rainbow with the cover title though.

"Shitty club president, is shitty."

I kid. The real title was: "Perverted Poodle Prosecuted" though he was still a shit club president.

The guy was in the infirmary for a while. He had taken massive damage to the crotch and stomach. Which is odd considering how he was kicked in the stomach. Neither me nor the dog commented on how that happened.

Still I even got my own part of the newspaper. I was apparently nominated Ace Attorney in the trial. And said poodle was nominated as best dressed. I was also invited to switch clubs due to the fiasco. My dramatic finger pointing was attention grabbing which was good enough for them. My invitation for the TTT however, was retracted, though considering they still want him dead and I saved his ass from vengeful women, it wasn't too surprising.

At the end of the day we got our rightly deserved apologies. Except for Gin, because fuck that guy.

* * *

 **4**

Our next big thing would be test results. It's really depressing when your biggest concern is testing and not preventing your very fragile friend from dying.

With the combined efforts of me, Tsukune, Moka, and Kurumu, we struggled (except Moka) to grasp the concepts of Math (except Moka), the analysis of whatever the hell we do in Biology (except Moka), and over complicating the matters of the English language (except Moka and I), and combining English matters and Science matters to get Reading and Writing problems (Moka and I are the exceptions).

It was somewhat disastrous considering we had a problem with SEAT PLACEMENT. A small kotatsu and there are four spaces for four people. Yet somehow they managed to screw that up. Moka wanted to be on Tsukune's right side considering that's the hand he writes with so she could help point out the incorrect solutions and guide him to the correct answer. When she said guide, she literally meant taking his hand and writing with him.

After noticing this after a couple of minutes, Kurumu decided she was not having any of that. So of course they get into an arm wrestling match that shatter the surroundings and forced me and Tsukune into my room.

This continued for about a week of studying for testing. Well me and Tsukune were studying. At this point I was ready to completely give up on them. On the last day before testing they actually took things seriously and decided to help us out.

What nice people.

After much cramming into the night we slept and Kurumu remembered almost nothing. So she was metaphorically fucked.

Bow-chika-bow-wow.

Testing was easier than imagined. It always is but you can never be to sure about matters like this.

And the next day the results were posted.

The optimistic went from the best to worst, pessimistic went vice versa. Me and Kurumu were realistic and went to the back. Moka and Tsukune were slightly less realistic and went to the front.

The bottom was 38,000th something something or other. I really didn't care but I started my climb up. At one point I had left Kurumu behind at 14,250. Until I met up with Tsukune at 1,716. And stopped at 318.

I was actually quite surprised I never expected English to get me so far. I guess it is the Worldwide language. I continued going up to where Moka was at number 7. Supposedly it's a lucky number and I guess fortune will be shining down upon her this semester.

"Yo. How's spot number 7 feeling."

"It wasn't too hard, but I'm really surprised about the number 1 spot

 **#1 Yukari Sendou**

"Is that someone really important because I have no idea who that could be."

"Apparently she's someone who skipped a whole bunch of grades."

"Meh."

"You don't think that's impressive?" She asked eyes narrowing a bit.

"It's not that." I said waving away her concern. "I don't know what kind of person she is so I can't say whether that's a good thing or bad. I reserve my judgment until our first meeting."

* * *

My judgment was reserved for only a few minutes. It was a classic three man group putting dents in the pillar around the small girl. I imagine she's about half Tsukune's height.

Considering this was school I should've known there was more than one group of assholes getting hard from hurting others.

Or getting wet. Ladies can be quite venomous too.

"Back off!/Get away from her!" Tsukune/Moka said/shouted.

"Well if it ain't Moka and her boyfriend."

"What? Are you supporting the little witch?"

"You trying to start something."

They talked as if they were triplets or something. It's annoying considering the threat level Moka is. Then I decided to back them up with Kurumu. Threat level increase 10 fold. Moka's pretty weak compared to her unsealed self. But when she gets serious she can send you flying. And Kurumu is . . . She has claws, I guess . . . She can fly and stuff so that's cool too.

I got nothing, neither does Tsukune, won't even bother trying to defend humanity.

I digress. Eventually we had the whole courtyard on our backs ready to beat the ever living shit out of these douché bags.

"Tch. Don't get comfortable witch." And they stalked off. The crowd parting, surprisingly not going up to murder the assholes. I guess the universal love for Moka can only go so far.

"Well that sucked, I guess." I said rubbing the back of my head. The crowd dispersed to do whatever the hell they did in their free time.

* * *

This is the part where I should have stopped reserving my judgment.

Geniuses usually feel a sort of kinship with other geniuses whether through relatability through experiences, or through shared ideas.

I can't even begin to guess which one Yukari is a part of, partially because she was currently nuzzling herself in Moka's boob and partially because that's all she's been doing besides glaring at us from time to time. It was quite an awkward experience for all who had continued to watch the scene.

I simply didn't give a fuck.

Ugh. Just hearing the quirky witch's words were disturbing. It involved a lot of lesbian sex, vibes, and other types of bullshit plays that should NOT involve the word sexual.

"Umm Yukari." Tsukune our resident hero started.

And our resident witch found it necessary to say, "It's Sendou to you. Only my Moka can call me by my first name." And she continued to nuzzle Moka's boobs. At this point I think she's motorboating them.

"Right..." he said in an oddly familiar tone. "I was going to say that Moka looks awfully uncomfortable. Could you let her go for a second?"

There seems to be a lot of bipolars at this school. Yukari just went from extreme content to full on tiny fury. I'd find it adorable if it weren't so fucking annoying.

"Moka is MINE!" She screeched hurting my ears a bit. "I'm not going to let someone like you put your hands on her."

"Isn't this overdramatic?" I asked trying to diffuse the situation. Of course no one was paying attention, they were watching a little girl wave around a heart shaped wand, and may I add was repeating 'magic wand' bullshit.

And before I knew it cleaning supplies burst out of the janitor's closet, flying at Kurumu 2 speeds in our direction. Specifically my head.

With a loud clanks metal dustpans hit my head. Brooms punched my gut forcing the air out of my stomach forcing me to the ground.

After their collision with me. They simply slowed down to avoid anymore collateral damage and smacked Tsukune a bit.

"Fucking . . . bullshit magic . . . is . . . bullshit . . ." I muttered softly before succumbing to the darkness, where everything ached.

Everything was a blur from then on. I was carried to the infirmary. By whom I don't know but I heard muffled voices. The repeated 'alone's and the 'hunt's. There were apologies and again impact happened on my stomach forcing me awake.

"..."

"Did we kill him?"

"No... he's alive." he said.

"Where are... my... box openers..." I said. "Must... kill..."

"We took them away incase you decide go on a witch hunt." The identified voice of Kurumu echoed in my head.

Urgh. I feel like shit.

Out of nowhere Tsukune sucker punched me.

"What the HELL do you think you're doing?"

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry I'm SO sorry. It wasn't my fault." He said before going in for another sloppy punch... which I caught, and lifted the guy off the ground and slammed him onto the ground forcing the air out of him, made laughter erupt from the little witch at the window.

My anger had reached its peak and I broke the door after slamming it open, suplexing the fuck out of the tiny bitch.

I'm still pissed.

"This is not child abuse. This exacted justice. A punishment from the vengeful." I said tossing her through window onto the impromptu bed.

So pissed.

I walked away. Out of the building and into the dead forest, where nothing but silence awaited me.

Much better.

The silence was welcoming as the sun set giving it a golden glow before the sun set a little lower turning everything red. I sighed in content, letting the shadows crawl over me.

I know it's a barrier to hide away from the human world but couldn't they make it, I dunno, more human? And what's with the obsession with red?

In the distance I heard more magic wand bullshit, and a few slurps.

I've fucking had it. Had it with magic, with tentacles, with being pushed around.

Just like last time I kicked off letting rage push my body farther and faster. I jumped going for a double kick towards the person holding the magic wand. Apparently I jumped higher and hit harder than expected because I sent the guy's face 3 inches into the ground.

"You cocky little shit..." and I was sent head first into a tree. It was so much better when I was doing the hitting.

My head was bleeding again. It was the third time that year that it happened. I may have brain damage or something. Again time seemed inconsistent since I never really rested after metal utensils flying at Kurumu speeds. There was some crying. And again I was carried back to the infirmary. And injected with some shit. Probably morphine.

And then nothing but a dreamless sleep. And during that time I had a lot of time to chill out and think.

What am I doing at Youkai Academy?

* * *

 **5**

Yukari wants a threesome.

The most horrifying revelation since coming to this school is Yukari wants a threesome, involving her, Tsukune and Moka. Forget getting burned at the stake, forget getting eaten alive, fuck all that shit.

No one must ever pick up a crop, butter or soap. Especially don't touch the soap.

My face had contorted into such horror as she did more magic wand bullshit to show us her mental image of it.

No. Just. No.

No words can describe how fucked up her imagination is.

Excusing the multiple mental scarring, I've been updating my drawing since I've arrived at the school but Newspaper club has prevented more from being added on a daily basis. I've finished up Moka's and Kurumu's parts but never got around to making Yukari or Gin'ei. Particularly since I didn't like their 'unique' ideas of fun.

I also got new compilations of epicness. I've had many kickass moments involving my hops and the buildup to make it happen. Every time it came to my door I resisted the great urge to squeal. I one time got Tsukune to come over and watch. His tears were quite entertaining considering he didn't get anything like this. Albeit he found it a bit creepy for some reason that people are stalking me.

Pfft. As if. There's just a person out there who happens to be knocked out of the way and catch moments of glory.

The compilations however make less sense. There's no explanation as to why the hell I have a collection of clips involving me. All of them taken at high and low dramatic points of view.

So I came up with an idea to help me identify my stalker/pen pal.

I wrote a letter.

It was simple to the point. I thanked them for the video and asked if we could possibly meet in person or if I could have their name. I did get a response.

"I have always admired you from afar but alas I cannot bring myself to tell you upfront about me. I wish that you would simply wait until the time is right to present myself." I said reading aloud to no one in particular. It's a habit for whenever I'm feeling lonely.

"Guess I'll find out later." I said getting back to homework and agonizing over whether or not to draw Yukari.

In lieu of going MIA for newspaper club, I missed some incident when the girls thought Tsukune was leaving and their respective fan clubs were ready to attack him. It was a simple solution as always: unseal, kick, reseal.

By extension of Tsukune they moved to his best friend.

Which brings us to three guys prostrating themselves before me.

Me being unaware of the events of yesterday, I had no idea what was going on when they all in unison shouted.

"""Please teach us how to become closer to Moka-sama!"""

My brilliant response was a quiet whisper of "what the fuck"

"You, who befriends with the three beauties." The chubby guy on the right raised his head tears flowing quickly down his face.

"You the one who prevents Tsukune from getting all the girls in the school."

"You the undying saint who upholds righteousness."

"""Teach us your ways!"""

More guys showed up hearing their speech also began prostrating themselves before me. In the midst of their praising you could notice the whitening of my skin as I constantly whispered "what the actual fuck".

I had no idea what to do at the time. I never had a cult following before. But the ticking clock forced me to run to homeroom.

And so I sat down at my usual spot near the front and the gazes of the few men who caught the speech and praises outside gave me smiles I really couldn't understand.

Not once was I shaken when I constantly repeated (under my breath) the words of the day. Not once did I actually notice anything important besides schoolwork.

Now I have actual reason to say this.

"What the hell is this?" I said looking at the different profiles of girls.

Newspaper club happens after classes. And not once was I disturbed by Tsukune, Yukari, or even Kurumu. But never did I stop repeating the phrase.

Until we are given these profiles.

"Why it's elementary my dear Boke." Gin'ei chuckled. "It's a missing persons list." My cry of "I'm a Tsukkiomi" went unnoticed.

"Missing persons list?" Kurumu 'intelligently' replied.

"Around the school students tend to go missing for long periods of time." He added to his nonexistent context. "but I've noticed a recent pattern and increase in missing girls."

"Is this going to be another investigation?" Tsukune groaned remembering the last one.

"I don't think I'll be able to join in this one though." Moka said. "I have to run some errands this week for the art teacher."

With that one statement 3 spirits were crushed, and one was raised to the high heavens above.

"Go on ahead. We'll hold down the fort." Gin said giving a clearly fake charming smile.

"Who exactly is this we business." I muttered to myself as I watched Kurumu and Tsukune bond in marshmallow hell. With the addition of Yukari, brass wash bins now appear whenever he's about to die.

On this day Tsukune was first accused of pedophilia by an unknown source. He would continue to be accused of it until the end of our four years.

The unknown source was me but who really cares.

So investigation 1.1 began with actual interrogation, or in this case, careful questioning.

We got a lot of really useful bullshit about their likes, dislikes, crush on some messiah vampire that owns the school. I don't even have to guess who it is. Moka's the only known and popular vampire on campus.

After basically gathering what could amount to a bunch of wasted time we laid down the facts.

"They all like Moka. They all like the art teacher and they've even been skipping classes to go there. And considering that Moka has been doing favors for the art club for a while. Do you know what this means?"

"We're transferring to the art club?"

"Very funny cow-tits."

"It's sarcasm washboard-chan."

"It means Moka has been doing more than just favors for them." He said closing his eyes taking a sip of coffee that wasn't there before. "She could be forced into helping them, or worse, modeling for them."

"Don't you have the order reversed? And if she is helping with the kidnappings how come she isn't acting a little more . . . ya know... guilty?" I said playing Devils advocate. "Plus the disappearances started happening before her arrival to the Art Club."

"Her standoffish behavior, the way her eyes are constantly shifting about. There are other signs of guilt such as being over cautious around us too."

"No this only applies to you." I said debunking that idea, crushing him under the weight of reality.

"Even I would be like that when you're around." Kurumu added making reality kick him while he's down.

"Moka doesn't actually act like that around us." Yukari added RKOing (Reality Knock Out) him onto the floor.

I swear the guy is being overly dramatic, sitting in the corner poking some new grown fungi. It's not even real, it was left by the ironic art club.

"But you may be onto something with the idea of visiting the art club." I said rubbing my chin. "They must've been attracted by something other than Moka."

"Wait . . . Where's Tsukune?" Gin said looking away from his corner.

Lo and behold, the guy was nowhere in sight, but then again he's been quiet and mopey for awhile.

"Eh I'm sure he'll be fine. He's a big boy." I say laughing it off.

* * *

"Where the hell were you?" I asked frantically shaking him.

"I was a- err . . ."

"We can't have you flaking out on us man." I paced around him. "We need your game face not whatever the hell this is." Referring to his pouty face.

"It's just that . . . this week . . . isn't this a special week?"

. . .

"That's what this is about?" I asked despite knowing the answer.

With a nod of his head I sighed turning around...

And I slammed my head against the wall. Hard.

Breathe in, breathe out, in, out.

"Tsukune, you aren't supposed to talk about your birthday before your birthday."

"So everyone already knows?"

"Do they know? You certainly didn't tell them. Even if they did they probably won't tell you since they didn't want ask me and it would come off as creepy."

The girls did actually ask me when his birthday was and I may have dropped a hint. But he doesn't need to know that.

"I guess you're right . . ."

"All that matters is everyone who remembers is going to do something for you." Which is almost everyone he knows.

"Thanks man. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"I can think of a few things but hey. You're the boss here." I said rolling my eyes.

He frowned a bit and his face was filled with . . . determination? "I've been thinking."

"About?"

"Confessing to Moka. I want to be closer to her and stuff." He said with growing conviction. "I know it comes as a bit of surprise . . ."

"Not really..."

"Wait. You already knew?"

"Tsukune, a blind man can see that you like her. Everyone makes the assumption you two are dating and will one day get married and I'll be the best man at the wedding." I say thinking of the possible image. I always wanted to know what those were like.

"Exactly who have you been talking to?"

"Every person that wants to get with Moka."

"So you've been sending people after me?

"Dude just calm down for a second and think. I am without a doubt your best friend. We live across the hall from each other, I defended you in court. Why the hell would I send monsters after you?"

"When you put it like that..."

"Point is... I forgot what the point is but I have something to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Have you met three guys who formed an unofficial Moka club?"

"Oh those guys..." cue back flash that will conveniently be skipped. It boils down to stalkers shows up. Mess with Tsukune a bit. Get their asses kicked.

* * *

"Well that's an interesting story, but for some reason I was praised as their messiah."

"How did that happen?"

"Since I'm friends with you and Moka I am somehow the bridge between normal people and the beauties of the school."

"I'm a normal guy. Why aren't I a part of them or a messiah?"

"Everyone thinks that your harem is growing." I shrugged. "I'm just an unfortunate soul caught in the machinations of your harem."

"Life is so unfair."

"Life as your best friend is unfair. I just went from backup punching bag to the Messiah of a cult that wants to make Moka and any other beautiful person theirs." I sighed. "Enough bullshit let's do this. Open the door peasant."

He sighs at my usual antics and slides the door open.

It had the usual after school club activities that you'd expect from a typical art club. Free drawing, modeled drawing, and piss-poor excuses known as abstract art.

"Moka?"

She posed at the center of it all. Looking around nervously.

And was also clothed. Damn it I'm not disappointed!

"Mystery solved, let's go Tsukune."

"What mystery? We came here to investigate the missing people."

"We came here to stop you and Gin's pity parties. The art club investigation can continue later when everyone has a clear head." I explained. "Not to mention we already have Moka investigating the art club."

"We do?"

"Not really. She's more of an experiment than anything. A test if you will."

"Why would you put Moka in possible danger like this?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't she say it herself?" I asked ready to slap the stupid off of his face. "She's doing favors for the art teacher, if you're so concerned we can always just snoop around after almost everyone leaves blend in with the crowd hide one floor up before descending upon the room ready to smite the unfortunate."

"You can use all the flowery words you want," he said eyes turning stone cold. "I won't forgive you for using Moka like this."

"So am I supposed to force her out of there? Make our relationship more strained than it already is?" I growled. "If you want we can just as-"

"No. YOU listen to ME." He said forcing me against the wall. "I'm done playing the sidekick to your stupid games. I won't stand around and hope for you to get along with her."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"YOU! YOU and your SELFISH way of thinking!" He shook me my head banging against the wall.

"I'm being selfish? Tell that to my-"

"Don't bullshit your way outta this one." His eyes darkened "I'm trying my damned hardest to stay on your side but you make it so damn hard."

"So I'm selfish for making SOMETHING hard for you? It's my fault?" "Then that makes you scum. I've been miracles outta my ass just to keep you alive. I've lost more blood than Moka ever takes from you. And you have the nerve to say I'M selfish."

"You ARE. Why do you have to make things so difficult for me? I told you what I'm doing, so why do you keep doing this?"

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING WRONG!"

"I WANT YOU TO STOP RISKING MY FRIENDSHIPS FOR YOUR DUMB PLANS!"

"STOP BEING STUPID AND REALIZE I'M THE ONE HELPING TO BAIL YOU OUTTA THE BULLSHIT YOU HAPPEN TO GET YOURSELF INTO! STOP BEING SUCH A SELFISH BASTA-"

Slap*

It echoed in the now quiet halls. A red hand print laid bare on my face. It stung but I got the message...

"Alright Moka... I get it..." I sighed rubbing the mark. "I'll see myself out of here. I won't bother you."

I turned my gaze on the onlookers who hurried about their business.

* * *

 **6**

Hands in my pockets I moved through the partying crowds to the cliffs. The red sea reminding me of red wine and the dark barren grounds of dark chocolate. The finest of desserts in the upper echelons of society.

"I hate being angry." I say furthering my anger. "It makes me hungry."

A small cold dainty hand rests on my back.

Purple mid length hair cascaded down to her shoulders. Ice blue eyes stared at me before drifting over to the sea.

I ignored the pang in my heart and did the same as her and looked out at the sea.

Despite her silent comfort attempt I can't help but wonder about her intentions. Every genuine comforting moment I've been given can be counted on one hand.

"Why do you continue to do it?" She asked softly.

"Hang with Tsukune? Or something else?" Why am I...

"Why do you continue to put yourself in danger, without thanks or reward?" Her eyes now focused on me. Why do I...

The wind blew softly allowing me to cool off a little more.

"I don't know anymore." I said. "At first it was out of habit. We came to the school together because we knew each other. Now he doesn't need me." Why do I feel...

I sighed. It was always something I knew would happen. It was expected to happen. I can't hold his hand forever, no matter how much I need to.

"Are you lonely?" Her words tickled my ear. "I don't mind staying with you."

I nod feeling a calm like no other wash over me. I felt as long as I was with her everything would be okay. But all good things must come to an end.

"I'm have to go save their asses sometime right?"

"I know, I've been watching you."

Wait, what.

"Always there to help him and his friends." "Despite his kind nature not once does he think of your true value as his best friend. How you've always been there for him."

"I see it though, your tired eyes and overused bandages. How you wince every time too much force is applied. You, like me, hide how you feel because it hurts to care for people as much as you do."

"I want to help you, because you are like me, and I like you."

I stiffened, eyes wide in disbelief. I had never gotten a confession before. The pounding of my heart was loud.

Someone likes me. A girl likes me. It's a dream come true and a nightmare waiting to happen.

Can I...

* * *

 **16,106 words**

 **(A/N): This is not a self-insert, never planned on it, never want to try it. This was a 9 month project in the works and if there were errors, it's because I hadn't gotten together with a beta. Let me know what you think.**

 **~ Roxas**

 **(Edited 02.27.18)**


	2. Chain 1

**(A/N): Just a quick note. This set of chapters involves a lot of PoV switching. At times it is fairly obvious but there are parts where it becomes a bit vague. So to fix this I have inserted indicators at the switch between the two characters. So until I reach a point where we focus solely on a single character, I will be continuing with the switches.**

 **Did you know?: The Japanese age of consent is 13. It was a mildly disturbing discovery for me.**

* * *

 _Weeks pass and we haven't had a chance to talk._

 _Despite what I said, I do care about the guy, I just hate how callous and manipulative he can be. From day 1 he's done nothing but push at everyone's buttons and use them for the sole purpose of protecting me._

 _I hate it. This feeling of uselessness. Despite us both being pretty weak, he is willing to put more on the line than any of us ever will. I wanted to tell him to stop smothering me, and I did. It was harsh enough to start a shouting match that Moka had to interfere in._

 _I want to say things have changed, and they have in a way. But when it comes down to it, nothing out of routine happened. There are changes like Moka eats with us less than usual, Yukari often patting Moka's back, Kurumu was less chatty than usual. He was isolating himself going through the motions of our routines, but spent less time with Kurumu, became more caring than I have ever seen him be around other people. Just overall happier._

 _I don't know if the shouting match was good for us as individuals. He seems fine, more isolated than usual, but happy._

* * *

 _I sometimes miss our little comedy acts in life. When we were bros just hanging out together. I really am glad to have a friend like him, sometimes. But he can also be a real pain in the ass. Like when we enrolled at Youkai Gakuen. He was laughing his ass off as I freaked out about everything. I had assumed that the dead forest and red sea on the pamphlet were photoshopped by the Art club, but was actually a photo from the newspaper club, which I happened to join._

 _We go on little misadventures occasionally getting into fights with other clubs over who owns what. But it all works out in the end._

 _I know that I've already written about this but it is also like a journal entry meant only for me and you, to remember some good times._

 _But I made a mistake and said some things I shouldn't have. It was harsh and unneeded on my part, I told him he was holding me back. Preventing me from living the good high school life. But then he also said something that still feels unwarranted._

 _He told me I was a selfish bastard for wanting to do as I please._

 _There's a lot more to this story than just me having an argument. When the time came that I was in trouble I had simply relied on him to bail me out. And he did help as he always did._

* * *

 _I didn't know why I avoided him for days on end. But writing about it now helps me realize what is wrong with me in the first place. Selfishly called for help, after shamelessly telling him to stop interfering with my life._

 _I can't express how many fights the newspaper club has gotten into. But whenever he's there he's at the very front until help arrives, and he's always in bandages. I haven't seen him without some gauze wrapped around some body part of his. Only now, when I think there's a real chance of being in trouble, do I understand how badly I messed up with our friendship. I had used and tossed him aside only talking with him whenever the need arises._

 _For the first time in a long time, I feel like our friendship is in danger and I need your help Kyoko._

* * *

 **7 - Tsukune**

It's been a day since our fight and I'm no closer to finding out anything about the missing girls. Everyone else is stumped and the girls are writing personal articles, while Gin edits what they make. And he hasn't visited the club room in a while, probably still moping.

I'm actually going to the Art club since I haven't checked seen much of it, and I wanted to see know exactly what they do in there.

Like last time they were doing different types of drawings of Moka some were actually pretty good, and others make me want to set fire to the dorms at night. Ms. Ishigami was practically waving her pencil and more of Moka's frame appeared. It was like magic with how quickly and delicately she moved to create the delicate picture.

And unlike the day before, Moka seems more relaxed. She must have gotten used to the modeling business.

"You are horrible at stalking people."

I almost screamed. Almost, but luckily caught myself and managed a small quiet yelp.

"You leave yourself exposed and allow yourself to get caught by surprise everyone can catch you off guard if you aren't careful enough and even the stalker has the potential to spot you." Oh it's just Gin.

"How do you even know so much about stalking anyhow?" I asked. "Cause what I'm doing is watching over Moka in case something happens."

 ** _"Stalking is a distinctive form of criminal activity composed of a series of actions that taken individually might constitute legal behavior. For example, sending flowers, writing love notes, and waiting for someone outside her place of work are actions that, on their own, are not criminal. . ."_**

 ** _~ The Dark Side of Close Relationships, edited by Brian H. Spitzberg, William R. Cupach_**

"You see dear Boke, I have a friend who happens to have a friend that happens to be very stealthy. . ."

"Never mind. I just remembered who I was talking to." I said referring to how we first joined Newspaper club. "As expected of the club super pervert."

"If you didn't want to know or listen don't ask me." he whined. "Seriously, I'm trying to help you out and this is my thanks."

"Sorry, sorry." - not sorry - "Still where should I go for this kinda thing?"

"Follow me. You better be grateful for this."

* * *

. . .

It wasn't anything perverted, nor was it another attempt to make me look bad, and that fact really surprised me. This is the true "hound of the newspaper club" in action, but...

"Gin?" I call out.

"Yeah? What's up Tsukune?" He says hopping over to my tree.

"Why are we in the trees? Won't we get caught like this?"

He chuckles lightly, as if I were a particularly "special" child. "Tsukune, the last place anyone would look is in the trees. The reason being that it's both discreet, but fairly obvious, if they have good eyesight. You look out the window everyday letting your mind wander and an occasional brush of branches won't really catch your attention."

"More like nightmare fuel with any creepy face grinning at me from in the woods. . ." I mumble quietly to myself.

 ** _". . . When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal. . ."_**

 ** _~ The Dark Side of Close Relationships, edited by Brian H. Spitzberg, William R. Cupach_**

"But you are… right actually." I relent in my argument. "I don't really pay attention to what happens in the trees except for when it's bright and flashy. Doesn't stop this from feeling wrong though."

Ignoring the annoying smirk on his face I try to focus in on the class. Fewer people were there but nonetheless they were finishing up their drawings of her before leaving on their merry way. It wasn't until the last students started packing up, did she move from her stool and out of our sight.

Gin had fallen asleep at some point, and I couldn't blame him. It was kinda boring just sitting on a tree branch watching people draw, and this was what Moka had to do for a whole week?

Madness I tell you.

"Gin, investigation is done for the day." His light snoring stopped abruptly before he gave a slight yawn just like I did.

"That was boring and pointless." he said jumping off the branch. "I know you're supposed to be investigating and protecting Moka but I was expecting a bit more action considering it's Moka related."

"Yeah I expected something to happen this week. Anything besides. . ." Our argument.

'Just forget about it' I thought shaking my head. "Anyway is this how we're gonna spend all our time investigating?"

"Correction, YOU are going to spend your investigation time doing this." He said jabbing a finger into my chest. "This was your idea after all. As long as you think Moka is in any trouble you keep doing this."

"There are no words in Japanese or English to describe how unfair this is." I groan into my facepalming hand.

"Then you really should've listened to him and trusted and Moka." He nodded confirming his nonexistent suspicions. "Be grateful I decided to accompany you. I was worried about you going off the deep end for a bit."

"How do you know about that?"

He raised an eyebrow. "That huge argument that made even the PSC and headmaster paid attention?"

"Pfft, it's not that big of a deal." I knew I had made a mistake because Gin gave me a good long look at me, eyebrow still raised. Being friends with that guy means you realize that you done goofed. "I just said something stupid didn't I?"

"Yup." He said as he relented on his gaze. "At least you aren't completely hopeless."

I slumped off the branch, falling onto the ground with a barely audible thud. "Could you at least tell me what I did wrong?"

"The most popular group in the school started infighting. One of whom is leader of their own faction that both opposes and supports you." Gin snarked. "And right now they're all wrapped in their own civil war."

"Seriously how do you know all this stuff?"

He smirked. "A snow angel told me."

"You would sounder cooler if what you said made any sense at all."

* * *

 ** _Day 1 Tsukune Journal Log_**

 _It's the week before my birthday and I already forgot how long I've been in this tree. I eventually get out here and do my after school routine. But I always have to come back to this tree for the investigation. Gin's with me but nothing of note really happens._

 **#*% &!* RE: Day 1**

"Alright, Let's do this." I said psyching myself up as I silently open the door and slip into the somewhat still and quiet room. The sounds off brushes and pencils making more noise than my footsteps to an empty station. I pick up the pencil and start drawing the model.

I should be on lookout for a real scoop or taking or writing the to be discovered story. But I am honestly at work, scouting for potential clues and carrying out the only order I had ever seen Gin give. 'Protect Moka.' From what and who is not really a question, all it ever will be is protect Moka, not that I had a choice in the first place.

"It doesn't mean I can't have fun myself" I whispered quietly. Then I went to drawing; not a face nor a body but ovals that were meant to later become the body. They overlapped creating a solid form of her stomach and chest. Next came the legs the thighs rounding just enough to not peak over the future design for a typical skirt. The calves were a bit more difficult so I left them incomplete, though it was joined to part of the thigh since the knees. Next I-

"What a waste."

I did not yelp, squeal, or shout. It was only a minor jump that almost knocked the canvas over if we hadn't caught it in time. No, I wasn't scared, merely... surprised. It was an even bigger surprise to see Ishigami on my back, literally.

Shut up, I wasn't scared.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Many things actually, but don't you plan on fixing the kneecaps?" she said referring to the blobs meant to resemble legs.

"Oh" I turn back around continuing to draw the outlined skirt into a sundress attaching the upperhalf of the body. "It's indecision on my part I guess. Call it habit. I just put it on paper as it comes to my head."

"The true shame being the wasted potential." her lamentations continue annoying me.

"I don't think I could be that great." It would interrupt any and all private time. I'm a guy with healthy needs after all. And also a perfectionist.

"With a bit of help and good wholesome practice you could. If you slowed down , you wouldn't finish as quickly, but the end result would be better." she said 'encouragingly'. I use this word because there is no other reason a teacher's voice should dip that low. "How about this, I already have a student coming in after hours so I can give her private lessons. Why don't you join us?"

This set off many alarm bells in my head of differing kinds. I'd be giving up on any future... "private events" to improve my art skills with a pretty cool teacher and an unknown student. On another note isn't this how people get kidnapped, murdered, and etcetera?

Screw it. "Sounds good except for Sundays and Mondays."

"I was thinking along those lines, yes." she gave me a 'warm' smile. No she did not lick her lips. I might actually have to call for sexual harassment

As the club time comes to an end and the bell rings signaling the end of school, I stay in put adding the finishing touches to her before making a comparison to Moka at the front. "Don't mind him" Ishigami laughs away Random-Student-chan's unspoken concern. "He's staying behind with me as well I thought to make this a bit of an improvement group."

I peeked from behind my canvas and mentally blanched. I might've been gaping. Moka clearly looking as surprised as I felt.

"You two know each other?"

A lot less than you'll ever know.

* * *

 ** _Day 2_**

 _I was making my way around the school listening for that stray rumor that would make the paper before I'd go for my new watchtower. Maybe things would be different if I went along with his plan. Actually I wouldn't mind watching her for awhile. Maybe join the beauty appreciation club for one of their sessions._

 _I bumped into a girl, a head and a half shorter than me. We both caught ourselves before we both fell but one of the first things I noticed about her was her incredibly pale complexion and blue eyes._

 _And her budding relationship with #*% &!*_

The name has been smudged, now unrecognizable.

* * *

"Sorry about that I didn't mean to bump into you or cause any problems." I said bowing slightly.

"It's fine," she replied softly. "I've wanted to meet you for a while."

Hoo boy. " Y-you wanted to meet me?" I said rubbing the back of my head. "Why would you want to meet me? I'm nothing like... I mean I'm not that special"

"Well, I wanted to get your advice on how to talk to guys." she said twirling the sucker in her mouth. "That makes you special for this in particular."

Calm down Tsukune. You've dealt with this situation at least 3 or 4 times. Just let her down gently before anything develops and everything should be fine. You've never quite rejected anyone but it should be fine. . . right?

"I see." I'm sweating nervously. "S-so what do you want to know? Do I know this guy?"

"Yes you do. What kind of woman he would prefer?"

I choked on my own words as I struggled to come up with a response. Damn, I'm even more horrible with these women. But if I were to choose, I'd say an hourglass figure.

But she doesn't need to know that, because I'm not sure.

"I asked him to stay with me for life." _Marriage!?_ "But he said there were things he had to protect."

Things to protect. So she's not talking about me then who does she mean? Wait dumb question, I have only two real guy friends. And one clearly isn't considered popular, he's rather infamous. The other guy friend seems more like a guy friend. And is also slightly famous, I think.

"So what kind of woman would he prefer?" The sad thing is I only have a vague idea. The only time I know of him showing interest was. . . someone I don't even remember very well, but she was pretty weird.

"He's a very. . . open kinda guy." I started. "He likes traditional chinese clothes on a woman. Other than that. . ."

Her eyes continued to bore into me unblinking.

"I'm sure he would accept you as you are, maybe he might be more open to touching and other things couples do. Of course I don't mean sex on the first date or anything. Not saying that you would be that kinda girl, but he can be kinda shy, so please be gentle with him." I rambled and screwed myself over. I completely ruined any hope of being a relationship counselor.

"He really is as kind as I thought." and she smiled to herself a soft smile that could've lit a dark room.

" _SELFISH BASTA-_ " No, he isn't. But I won't be a hypocrite and stop this developing couple.

* * *

 _I'm at yesterday's spot, this time by myself and was instructed to pick a different tree than the last one. I even brought binoculars so I can see much more easily. Again nothing of note happens._

 _As I wrote the last sentence I now have to change it,_ _showed up and was working on some large scale picture. He even had Ishigami helping him out a bit with his drawing. What else is he up to?_

The text has been scribbled messily, the message hardly legible.

* * *

 **RE: Day 2**

A masculine frame, his physical features being unfocused. There's no true body type that can describe him other than average. I gave him a black T-shirt and khakis. Deciding his frame looked too plain I gave him a gray checker polo jacket.

"A different one today?" Ishigami said from behind me. "That's right, you're already finished you portrait of Moka. You gotta love a man who's quick with his hands."

No. Shut up. "Please stop talking. I had already finished that one, so it wouldn't matter too much if I tried my hand at a previous project."

"Well bring it in next time so we can review it. We don't want to completely ignore our original purpose for philandering."

What teacher says that with a straight face? Better yet, why would we?

"I'm just teasing." _Like hell you were!_ "But I honestly look forward to our study sessions."

The hissing of malicious students seemed louder than usual in my ear as I continue drawing the mop of brown hair. It would be better if she didn't drop innuendos like atomic bombs on Japan, or if she asked a more willing student.

Or if she weren't so. . . Good looking? But then again it's only bad when it inconveniences me.

Today's the day my practice sessions, joining us today is Moka Akashiya. The very same person who was NOT supposed to know I was watching out for her.

"Since introductions aren't needed how about we just cut to the critique. First off Moka." she said sashaying over to a random canvas. With a quick scan of the paper she nodded. "It's nearly flawless, incomplete but flawless in its initial design. At the rate you're going it should be finished by that time of the month."

There were so many things wrong with that statement I wouldn't even know where to start. Someone might think you're practicing for entering the red light district. Judging by Moka's strong blush, she was thinking along those same lines.

"And what about my picture?" I asked. I'm honestly curious about her expert opinion.

She took a glance and had a small frown that disappeared not quickly enough for preventing others from seeing it, reverting to a more passive look. She hadn't said anything for a solid and awkward 10 seconds.

 _'If I'm a shit artist at least tell me I'm getting nervous here.'_

"I'm sure I mentioned this before but you are indecisive, unsure of what you are drawing. Look at how gray some blank unoccupied areas are." she said gesturing to the gray aura surrounding him. I hadn't been surprised, maybe a bit dumbfounded. "Next time pick a more interesting subject, but continue the art anyway and we'll try again later."

 _'You're going to insult me without any actual criticism!?'_

She saw my face of anguish and waved it off. "Don't give me that look, I promise I'll help you as soon as I'm done helping Moka."

 _'You just said her work was flawless!'_

I knew this would happen. It always happens to anyone who catches Moka-lomania. Which is everyone. Even me sometimes, I always had been attracted to red eyes.

* * *

"Sorry the day has just flew right by us." she clasped her hands bowing a bit in apologetic shame.

"No it's fine," Moka said placating our teacher. "it's thanks to you that I was able to get as far as I have."

 _That's easy for you to say, I just got more time to draw. I could have done this in the comfort of my own room._

Moka went on her way leaving the classroom and turning the corner before she left me to my own devices.

"I didn't exactly go through with my promise," Ishigami said. "But do you not want to improve?"

"Of course I do. It's the entire reason I'm here." I half-truthed.

". . . I see, at any means necessary?"

See this is the part where conversation gets dangerous. Bad guy recognizes another bad guy. Two plot together to capture princess, partnership falls apart. I can't remember the name of the trope but dear god I had never thought my life would delve into shitty manga plot and indecisive protagonists flailing about.

Actually, scratch the second part. Tsukune's full of that shit.

"I always get what I want for a reason." I half truth, again. "Is there a better or faster way?"

"Of course follow me to the back." She opened the closet with nothing but s figure covered by knitted cloth. Ishigami removed it revealing an empty picture frame allowing people to step through. We step through and light came from all directions allowing me to see what lied inside the hidden room. "Help me get the girl and you'll paint whoever I can get."

A devious smile adorned my face as I gave my answer. If I'm gonna be in a school of monsters, I might as well adopt their morals.

 _Unbeknownst to the both of us, Moka quietly shut the door. Tsukune quietly leapt down from his tree branch writing something very dangerous down. A horrible sign of bad things to come._

* * *

 ** _Day 3_**

 _Lone operation, I'm on lookout for my former partner in crime. He's still working on that picture and there are noticeably fewer people in the room. This further solidifies yesterday's observation and testimony._

 _I thought about it for a few minutes. Why exactly would he even want to be near Moka? They didn't exactly leave off on the best of terms, and he clearly never liked Moka. So what changed?_

 _Is it just lessons and I'm over thinking things? Or is it something more?_

I peer through the binoculars as I notice them getting ready to leave. He grimaces while Moka gives her usual cheery smile.

 **RE: Day 3**

So far I've finished Moka, Gin, Kurumu, and heading off into the unknown territory of drawing Gin.

"You seem really determined today." It's… Moka?

I look around and noticed that the room was almost empty. And no one was on the model's stool. "Oh, you're already finished for the day?" I smiled.

"That's right. Ishigami said I should move around for the artists to get a better idea of my frame." Sure, her "frame". That's why everyone is staring so intensely. . .

. . . at her skirt.

"Still your picture looks really great. How do you get it to look so realistic?" She's too close practically hugging my back. WAY too close.

"Just lots of memorization and go from what I know about you." I say quietly with a small blush.

Outside the scope of my attention a pair of binoculars and many art utensils snapped from too much pressure.

"Do I have my own?" she asked, her face looming close enough to…

'No! I won't fall for that trap' "You do. And no I'm not showing you until I'm done with all of them."

"Promise?" She said eyes twinkling with a hint of mirth.

"Yeah I promise," I sigh in resignation.

In my momentary lapse of attention, the pencil fell out my hands and both Moka and I reach for it. I back off when I realize it rolled over to her side and a bit too far away from me.

"Here you are." she says, her smile glowing.

"Thanks." I am not willing to dwell on unimportant thoughts. "They should all be done on Day 4." I say as I finish shading the last iris.

For some reason Moka frowned. I didn't find anything wrong with what I said. Was there something on my face? Was there something I was supposed to say?

* * *

 _ **The Final Day: Journal entry 4**_

I was in the art club by myself today. After today, I don't have to come back to this room ever again. Yukari's picture came out swiftly and easily. I never pictured her without her Witch's outfit so there was no option but to draw her in her usual outfit. Her small frame made it that much easier.

The door slid open and both Moka and Ishigami came into the room. Both too overly cheery for my liking.

'I'll fix one of them soon enough.'

The door closing seemed louder than ever. The muted chatter of the two targets became even more and more distant. Everything was moving slower and slower, time practically crawling to a stop. The image ingrained into my head filled me with-

'Calm down Calm down calm down calm down calmdown calmdown calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown.' I inhale sharply, exhale slowly, and allow a smile to cross my face. 'Perfect'

As the two stepped through the I picked up the imitation katana from the nearby kendo bag and hid it behind me and walked into the storage closet.

It's a dead end. There's no other way to say it. Step in and I'll finally get this out of the way.

* * *

 _I wasn't quite ready to believe it when I saw it. I still don't want to believe it. There in his arm Moka, terrified out of her wits, and in the other arm the katana shaking and pointed at Ishigami. His eyes were wide not in the gleeful murderous way we saw earlier but in fear and-_

"I know this looks bad but I swear it's not-" Moka took the chance to bite his arm cause him to scream in pain and drop her as she crawled away.

 _There was blood on the floor, lots of it more dripping onto the floor. They all had blood on themselves. I had stole-BORROWED a couple of bats from the baseball club in case of an emergency. Moka was fine, there wasn't a scratch on her. He was there bleeding from the arm and slowly it started turning grey, like the statues behind Ishigami. It had crawled up his arm after Moka bit him._

 _Snakes were hissing and dying on the ground. I couldn't hear much. No, I couldn't even understand it._

 _He really was obsessed with Moka. He wasn't comfortable with me being near her because he wanted to play the role of Tsukune Aono. He didn't spend much time with her because he wanted to respect the bro code._

 _He gave a devilish smirk, a grin belonging only to monsters as he accepted the deal from Medusa. To capture the essence of beauty in stone Moka Akashiya._

 _From there things got worse, he was tackled to the ground by_ _#*% &!*_ _. Gin and Yukari rushed Moka and a few nearby statues to the infirmary. Kurumu slashed at the tumbled two on the ground who were wrestling and I stood there… Just watching in disbelief as everything devolved into chaos._

 _My grip felt weak but I staggered over to the pile of bodies one bat raised to the_ _#*% &!*_ _head._

*THWACK*

 _It was steel, bent and broken by impact. And the wrestling stopped as Kurumu pulled away the unconscious, probably dead Medusa_ _. He just laid there his eyes scratched and bleeding his body encased in more stone. He looked at me eyes pleading for me to help him. Before I knew it…_

THWACK*

 _It was wood, splinters flying some imbedded into his skin and he was stone._

 _To think this monster was my best friend._

 _And everything felt so cold._

* * *

 **8 - Tsukune**

Everyone who happened to be in the storage closet was taken to the infirmary. Some had unknown cases of frostbite including me and Kurumu. No one knew who or what caused it but before we were even brought there he was resting unstoned as the nurse plucked the splinters out of his body and wrapped him in bandages.

He resigned from the newspaper club the very next day, and was suspended. Ishigami, due to her many kidnappings, was expelled and banished (whatever that means).

I haven't seen much of him not since I saw him walking into the school with a big box of something. Later that day the newspaper club was filled to the brim with artwork, pictures of us, signed by the bastard himself. We would've continued on with life but you could tell he was clearly missed. Kurumu especially was longing for his presence. It might've been their previous friendship holding her back but she seemed more clingy than usual hugging me, even leaving me kisses on the cheek. More than usual anyway.

It's almost July and we're selling the latest and greatest according to Gin. With the Ishigami incident taken care of and the headmaster's okay we began printing and selling the story.

"Overwhelming Disappointment" I said to myself. And it really wasn't. The beloved art teacher kidnapping students and one of our own members, my best friend, assisting in the latest attempt to have Moka for themselves, his descent into madness.

As much as I dislike how he does things to distance people, I didn't think it would make him go insane. The hero of this epic tale happened to be me, "putting my best friend down like the mad dog he is."It's surprising how many people were willing to turn on him so easily.

I wanted him off his high horse, not. . . this.

* * *

 **#*% &!***

 _I felt like a dead man. The ground could swallow me whole and I wouldn't want anyone to care. There was no happy ending, no possible way this could end well for me. Even if I was allowed to stay a student, people would know._

 _Because the newspaper club would tell them._

 _I know they will because a newspaper needs a story, one backed up by witnesses, testimonies and photographic proof. The story of the convict is often ignored because we play the victim card. "I was trying to help my people" can be twisted to mean "by killing your people"._

 _"In this world there are winners and losers." I stop to turn to the degraded former teacher. "And if you didn't play the damned traitor we could've won more than just one hot body!"_

 _*SHINK*_

 _She fell to the ground, her grating, desperate voice... hopefully never heard by me again. an icicle stuck in her forehead. ". . . Mizore?"_

 _She had a small earnest smile. "...hello." She took my hand in hers and held it close to her cool face._

 _The cool morning chill was a bit more comforting. I had a girlfriend._

 _. . ._

From then on we had sort of have a setup established. In the morning we do our usual routine and meet up in the woods. To be specific, I would meet her and give a quick kiss for her to start off the day.

For her it might be considered a very harsh compromise since her race is dependent on how many babies each Yuki-onna has. I'm not entirely comfortable with skipping bases, so we are speeding up a relationship through constant physical contact.

From there, we take a barren path to the school so that we aren't spotted. She's a shy person and I'm like the Anti-Christ to the populace. I ask her questions about her and what she knows about me.

To put it as simply as possible, she's my stalker, and I'm sorta okay with that. As long as she doesn't tell me a bit too much about what I do in my private times, then she's just a normal girl, to me anyway.

Another thing we do is go on a date a day. Most people would find it very suffocating and a bit lonely, it doesn't really matter when the girlfriend thinks the rest of the world should leave us alone, and the world thinks the boyfriend should leave it alone. Overall a win-win-(sorta win) situation.

After my suspension, I attended classes almost normally. Of course, I avoid the newspaper club like the plague since I had quit and been slandered. Even if the paper hadn't come out yet, rumors would and with rumors being over exaggerated I would have a bad time. And the day the newspaper was published and I have people actually trying to charge forward and beat me to death. But due to unfortunate circumstance they happen to slip and fall hard enough to warrant a visit to the infirmary.

"Sometimes I think of how lucky I am to have you." I say out loud. A quiet giggle and she jumps onto my back. I really do have to thank them for completely destroying my rep sometime.

Some ashes land on us. . . before we could bother feeling disgruntled the wind picks back up and they scatter again.

Newspapers happen to fly by as well, no one even bothering to pick them up or go after them. And quite frankly no one would, so neither did we.

The day ended somewhat peacefully.

* * *

 _"Why did you quit?"_

 _It was club hours, I honestly wasn't expecting Kurumu to go out of her way to come and see me._

 _But we are friends, or at the very least connected by a shared person of interest._

 _"Huh?" I responded lamely. To be fair she hadn't even said hi but it took a moment before I realized what she meant._

 _She actually looked upset more than when Moka gets na few litres of blood from our resident protag. In all honesty I should be taking this a bit more seriously. "Why did you quit the newspaper club?"_

 _. . ._

 _For some reason I couldn't bring myself to answer her. Guilt welled in my throat, and my heart stung._

 _"I. . . needed to sort some stuff out with myself." I managed to choke out. It was a pathetic answer but one that held a grain of truth_

 _"We all had our problems with Tsukune and Moka. Why is this any different?"_

 _The difference between those incidents and mine isn't about Moka or the fight._

 _"...do you love Tsukune?"_

 _It had more to do with Tsukune and I._

 _"Of course I do, I put him above everyone else."_

 _This wasn't news to me. I had already knew how she thought about Tsukune. My mouth twists into a grimace. "He is a pretty cool guy at times."_

 _"Isn't he? He's almost everything a girl could want in a guy. Charming, innocent" Her dreamy smile dropped into a pouty glare. "But that has nothing to do with my question."_

 _It's important that we establish. . ._

 _"So what do you think about Moka?" I continued on._

 _. . . the relationship between Moka and Tsukune..._

 _"That blood sucking flaky bimbo isn't allowed to simply steal him away from me." "It gets annoying sometimes how she keeps him away from me because they are 'friends'. But again it has nothing to do with you."_

 _. . . the relationship between vampire and human..._

 _"Last question. Can I trust you with our secret. The thing between me and Tsukune..."_

 _. . . The relationship between predator and prey._

". . . we don't belong here. . ."

* * *

 **Tsukune**

We were penalized for slander and disturbance of the peace.

I don't really get the specifics, but apparently two students in our main article have been harassed by the student body. On the grounds that it would cause them further distress half of the printed papers were burned.

"The rest," said Gin unusually subdued. "Will go in the incinerator."

This wasn't the first time the newspaper has gotten into a dispute with the Public Safety Committee. There have been past incidents where nothing too major happened. But when Kuyou the new head of the PSC got into it.

 _"They ALL burned," He said in a somber voice. "Not all of us died, but we burned."_

So in fear of our lives I did so. Me and Kurumu both took however many papers we could carry and got to work, while Moka and Yukari got to scrambling to find a new semi-interesting story.

I couldn't say anything, didn't want to. She looked worse than ever before. There were no romantics, no hugging, no reaction other than to make this autonomous like she wasn't even conscious. The fire burned brightly lighting the dusk afternoon sky.

She clutched the papers tightly in her arms before clawing through them slowly and painstakingly. "Have you ever wanted to change the past. Make it so that everyone gets their just desserts and everyone we love is happy?"

I'm surprised by the question, and yet I'm not. Her first best friend abandoned us out of some chauvinistic pride. "For awhile, all the time if I dwell on it."

"How can you not dwell on it!?" she's shouting, absolutely furious. "Our best friend is being treated like a psychopath, our club president is a coward, and everyone's going around acting like this is all normal!"

She's in tears, and there's nothing I could do for her because I still can't get over it.

"We start with getting rid of what we think." The newspapers are snatched out of my hands by. . . something.

And into the hands of a PSC Officer. "And we kill the pathetic bugs like your friend. Quite the tragedy, forcing a teacher out of a job and publicly shaming a student, all to get out 'the truth'." she clicked her tongue in mock disappointment. "How much lower is your club sink to get a story?"

"You don't know what the hell you're even talking about!' Kurumu yelled. I filinched a bit at her words. "All we did was expose them for what they've done."

"Hah? What kind of friend are ya? Moron." her voice irritates me, mocking every move we seem to make. "Let's see what you wrote: 'Overwhelming disappointment'? 'A club member quit after found with a weapon and mstudent?' 'Oh boo hoo, I ruined my friend's life by exposing him as a manipulative sociopathic freak'."

"And what gives you the right to judge us?" I say getting riled up as Kurumu herself.

"I'm not judging," her grin transformed and four gray fangs and large. . . rear. . . could be seen. "I'm PUNISHING you!"

A giant wad of string shot from her rear, forcing me to duck and Kurumu took the skies as quickly as possible. We were unfortunately a bit too slow as the grazing of my shoulder and her foot was enough to send us flying along with the disgusting piece of spider crap before it impact nearby plant life.

Actually most of the trees here are dead so it's spider crap impacting dead trees.

Disgusting if one keeps thinking about it.

"Shitheads like you really piss me off. Acting all high and mighty when someone's dirty little secret is exposed. Ya really know how to rub how superior you bastards are in front of everyone."

She walked up her extra legs peaking from underneath her skirt and her walk devolved into a crawl and I found her face too close to mine, and her humane hands grabbing my face.

For some reason she froze and took a good loooong sniff. As if I were a drug she happened to be addicted to in her "underground" life. And like most stoners she went from bitch mode to. . . well, this.

"Heeey. Now that I get a look at this guy. . . Aren't you delicious."

I am not turned on. I am not turned on. I am not turned on. I have a spider lady licking my face and it feels really. . . sticky, in a weird kind of way. it's extremely weird and creepy and doesn't feel good at all.

"That's my guy, you bitch." yelled Kurumu erratically clawing at all things spider-like.

For some reason the determination warmed my heart. For a specific reason, I was scared when Keito kept licking my face and started humping my leg.

"He ain't your boyfriend is he?" she again took a lick waaay to close to my quivering lips. Is this erotic? It's not right?

Fun fact about succubi: Succubi tend to gain strength from love. The common misconception being that love in a romantic sense is what keeps them alive. It can be the relationships that a succubus cherishes that gives them strength and only the most prized relationships make the biggest changes.

So when a spider girl reverts to human form just to hump my leg, and nibble on my cheek (due to many bloodsucking incidents I have grown an resistant to pain via biting, so I didn't notice the blood), some people like Moka and Kurumu tend to get more than worried.

One moment the succubus was there the next she was on the ground with Keito. trying her hardest to stab the spider girl's eyes.

Though I feel like I missed an entire conversation. Something about the situation felt a bit off. It probably had to do with the fact that for once Moka did not need to kick somebody's ass, but the problem solved itself, I think.

I didn't know it, but this would grow to be a huge problem that would be dealt with later.

* * *

 **9 - Tsukune**

Summer vacation is one of the peaks of a high school student's life. Beaches, swimsuits, swimming, and even more. When I imagine summer, I think of the outdoors and the wonders of nature.

I don't always think of sunflower fields. Near the beach.

The Spirit of the Sunflowers is a seemingly random rumor that people go missing in the fields and never come back. Typical ghost story that you'd find anywhere. But since I attend Youkai Gauken...

 _"It is only natural that we, The Newspaper Club, get to the heart of the matter!"_ _Nekonome, Kurumu, and Yukari clap along to his amazing speech but to be honest, I wasn't very interested in it._ _After all we were in a classroom, the smell of the wood burned at my nose as I try not to think of my summer assignments._

 _"Isn't this a bit excessive? It's only a rumor in the..." I pause at the awkward idea of saying it. ". . . human realm?"_

 _"We already have one mystery solved at one side why not save some lives from the terrible being that would dare harm delicate flowers." 'Moka did most of the work' was left unsaid._

 _"I know you aren't talking about plants anymore. You really are one of the worst." Et tu little Yukari_ _. Though I wonder if it's alright for me to call her little with her. . . imagination. . ._

 _"Ignoring your intentions to pick up girls..." females within hearing distance scowl. "When exactly exactly are we going? And where is it?"_

 _"It's a little town by the Chinmoku no Yoru , few residents and is divided into suburban and rustic areas. If the story is a dead end there's always the ruined castle to investigate."_

 _Sounds like a nice trip. . ._

 _"And we leave the day after tomorrow."_

 _Kurumu and Moka scramble to the door, fighting for dominance to get out the door before landing in a heap on the floor._

 _"Way to spring this on us. . ." I sigh letting my head fall forward, hair obscuring my eyes._

 _. . ._

 _". . .dickhead."_

 _. . ._

Fast forward to today and I'm wearing an unbuttoned light blue cardigan with a plain white t-shirt and black shorts. It's a bit hot but a cool breeze keeps me company at the silent bus stop.

Never mind it feels cold. REALLY cold.

"Tsukune~~~e."

Moka, truly an angel at this horrific place. Having her around at times really keeps things out of I meant to say out of perspective, I'm at a school where every interaction is a possibility for me to di-.

"You sure are early today." I said dispelling the evil and heretical thought from my mind.

She giggles taking a place right next to me, and it is wonderful. "Not early enough to walk here with you. But I'm glad it's just the two of us now."

Yeah it has been awhile. A whole 2 months without any private time with Moka. "We've had a lot going on." I said referring to. . . well, everything. "But I'm glad we get to spend time together. Just the two of us."

A moment of comforting silence came between us. . . her eyes shine even brighter and I'm drawn in. We both lean in. Her lips slightly parted.

Then she zips past my face towards my neck.

. . . my blood gets more action than my actual face. It's gotten to the point where her fangs, which used to feel like cacti on skin, is now nothing more than a small pinch. The down side being that the cold breeze is now feels like a blizzard, with only silent tears to keep me company.

"Moka that's enough." Kurumu came from. . . somewhere, and slapped her hand around the spot Moka was sucking causing her to yelp and harshly eject from my neck. At least the cold isn't so obvious with the burning pain and not from Kurumu slapping my neck.

"Here." she said wiping away the pooling blood eith a hankerchief already in hand before applying a bandaid. "I seriously can't leave you alone with him for a second."

I don't know why, but Kurumu has declared me to be her "Destined One". Being called the true love of a singular succubus was a bit weird for me. No matter how I look at it I'm nothing special. Just a guy who she happened to charm and happened to forgive her. I'm sure if he were in my place he'd have done the same thing.

 _The infinitely better version of me. . ._

"You can't say stuff like that!" Moka shouts angrily pouting. "He's my friend, I should be allowed to spend time with him whenever I want."

Moka, you are indeed my friend, but please don't say it like that. You're sending mixed signals.

Kurumu wrapped her arms around me, her head on my shoulder. "Friend, huh? That means I can take the spot of wife and all of his time." she whispered in my ear, "You wouldn't mind having me, right?"

Cue tin washbin falling from the "ether" whatever that is. "That spot of wife will never belong to you!" In a nick of time, Yukari sends down a delay in the form of injury to the cranium to the head. "It belongs only to Moka. And I reserve the spot of concubine."

Normally someone would ask her to stop molesting and giving concussions to our club members but now was not the time for the latter.

"You're popular as always." Oh, Gin is here. On time even. "I'm not sure whether to hate you at times or pity you. But because of petty reasons I'm going to say I hate you."

"Huh?"

"I mean look at you. The plainest guy to ever walk the halls of the academy and you have... THAT!" he said gesturing to the wrestling girls. "I can't even get that and I wear much more stylish clothes than you. Is it the hair? The baby face? Dammit what's your secret?"

"uhhh..." I know exactly what he's talking about. And I have no real answer to it. ". . . my charming personality?"

"That's such a. . . load of. . ." he trailed off before grabbing his surprisingly filled notepad. "You met everyone the same way you met me?" he asked suddenly his tone and eyes serious.

"My prick of a best friend instigating a situation of some sort before I act as the better man?" Now that I think about it he did this with Moka too. It's really the only reason me and Moka ever made up after the second day, and why he at least remains polite when bumping into us.

For some reason, that information really made Gin's day as he made a quick check mark next to something closed his notepad and placed his hands on my shoulders. I'm not the only one being disturbed by this am I?

"Tsukune I hereby declare you to be my brother. A real member of my. . . admittedly small pack." His smile. The charming gentlemanly smile meant only for girls was directed at me.

"Wait, what do you mean brothers? What are you scheming?" I ask glaring at him now.

"Thus we are bound in life and de-" A 16 ton weight landed and broke on his head.

"Tsukune~~~e the forbidden yaoi love route is forbidden. Never fall to the wiles of the dark side."

"Well said Yukari-chi"

"BUT I'M STRAIGHT!"

Thus began our club trip.

* * *

 **A brief interlude**

 _Akkun was a guy with 2 girlfriends. They went on dates every Thursday and Saturday._

 _One day Akkun's girlfriends, Becchan and Chichan, wanted to go to an old ice creamery. It was close to the suburbs and was owned by an old lady and her grandson, Deku._

 _When their eyes met it was like a shock perfect wavy hair cascaded partially covering his eye._

 _Deku serves them their orders A large strawberry milkshake and a strawberry-banana parfait._

 _Chichan is a bit clumsy and got a bit of whipped cream on her face. Naturally Deku being a good guy wiped it of with his finger before taking it in his mouth._

 _"Delicious ain't it?"_

 _Chichan fell for him instantly. Akkun, like any good boyfriend got jealous, as did Becchan. They quickly had their fill, Akkun paid, and they were on their way._

 _So the next day Akkun and Becchan went again the next day. Deku was working that day too._

 _Another strawberry-banana parfait. Another "accident". Of course Deku had to clean her up. Dragging his finger slowly he managed to pick up the fallen cream and again said._

 _"Delicious, ain't it?"_

 _Like Chichan, she was charmed, making Akkun furious._

 _The next day was Monday so he followed Deku to... the same school as Akkun?_

 _It didn't matter to Akkun. He followed Deku down his usual route to the creamery._ _In the alley he struck pushing the shorter man against the wall._

 _"Don't you dare go flirting with my girls." snarled Akkun._

 _"Why would I go for the cherries," said Deku. "When I have the ice cream right in front of me."_

 _A forceful kiss was all it took to calm and charm the aggressive Akkun. Clothes were being shed in light of their makeo-_

Tsukune: "I told you I'm striaght, so don't bring up crappy yaoi. I can't keep playing the straight man."

Yukari: "Your response about not being the straight man only proves my point!"

* * *

The bus had stopped by the beach, allowing us to step off. Clean white sand. A relatively unpopulated area. And nice blue sea, right by a field of flowers.

"Yes indeed, this is the perfect spot to set up camp." said Ms. Nekonome. I sometimes forget she's the club advisor with how often I see her outside of class.

Almost never.

"So let's get started with the tents right now." Well said Yukari.

"Wait. where are the tents?" asked Moka.

Our individual bags were hurled out of the bus harshly and in rapid succession. The bus driver gave his creepy chuckle before speeding backwards.

"Okay then you all can go set up camp, I will be grilling the fish I brought with us." Her tail is showing again. I hardly notice nowadays, that's up for everyone else to point out. I like my eyes not clawed out and right where they are.

"As expected our club advisor prioritizes fish over her actual job." Gin sighs rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "Oh well, since it won't take long I'll set up the tents. Tsukune you can start fishing for more food. I have a feeling it won't be enough for tonight."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"What about us? Shouldn't we help with fishing, setting up the tents, or something?"

"One of you can go supervise our advisor. Just in case Tsukune and I don't manage to catch enough fish for tonight. Also setting up the tents won't take long so the other two can either fish with us or something."

This is gonna be a long day. I wonder what he's up to right now?

* * *

 **#*% &!***

Have you ever felt that strong urge to sneeze but you just can't? So your nose is left irritated until you rub at it or something. And then out of nowhere you just sneeze, loudly.

It was one of those day's.

"Would you mind taking out the trash for me?"

Kasumi Aono, mother of my best friend, wife to Kouji Aono, and my mother in all but name.

I typically visit the Aono's during summer as often as possible. My old man isn't home nine times out of ten so it gives me every opportunity to come over if they weren't busy.

"Sure thing." I yell back.

I visited so often that it might as well be my own home. I used to share a room with Tsukune, but that got real awkward fast when I found his "interest" in women.

I made my way down the stairs of the average house. Much like it's occupants, it gave a warm welcoming feeling, while not being outstanding.

Tying up the garbage bag. I made my way to the door carefully observing the bag every few steps.

"I do appreciate you coming to visit. One would think his own parents would be the first people he would talk to during the break."

Mrs. Aono, you truly are a good person, but your son is a riajuu. Let him live.

"He's on a club trip, making memories with new friends. It's pretty important to him." I went out to the front.

A small pile of garbage had another bag added to covered the sun and I looked up. It was around 2 in the afternoon. Dusk won't set in for another 2 hours.

I had a few reasons for staying at the Aono's for most of the summer. One was so I could run into Kyoko. Two was for the good food and great. The third reason...

. . . isn't something I'm very comfortable sharing. . .

I. . . had a crush on Tsukune's mom.

Don't get me wrong I have no plans of ruining a happy family like that, and would bring a lot of unwanted attention from the police. Middle school me had known this after he found out what child prostitution was. Claiming to have a bigger schlong than her husband and actually paying for her to take me?

Boy, wouldn't that be embarrassing, and highly illegal.

But like any horny middle school kid there was someone who was attractive, but didn't attract me. That someone. . .

"You ass!" She said punching me in the face.

. . . was Tsukune's cousin with a complex, Kyoko.

"Hello to you too, cousin complex." I calmly replied rubbing at the spot where she hit me. "I assume this has nothing to do with Tsukune?"

"I was asking where he was and you stood there like a dumbass." Typical impatient and overprotective brocon. "So hurry up and tell me where he is and what you did."

"Club trip, and I have no idea what you are talking about." Of course I knew what she was talking about. The hostage situation gone wrong that ended in many misunderstandings and misplaced guilt on both sides.

Before Kyoko can rip me a new ass out of my ass, Kasumi happened to look outside instantly shifting Kyoko from girls gone feral to my new best friend. I never understood Kyoko's unhealthy fear of her. Nor do I know why she is subtly trying to crush every bone in my body.

I wonder if Tsukune is having a better time than me.

* * *

 **Tsukune**

She ate half of the fish we had and we only caught five.

It was supposed to last us until dinner but for some people it just wasn't enough. So a certain advisor of ours is on fishing duty while Moka watches over her, double checking to see if she actually does her job this time around.

Kurumu is sunbathing while Yukari is using an assortment of pans to build a sand castle.

To think those lethal weapons are now used as playthings. My head hurts at the mere thought of it.

"Hey. . . Gin?"

"Yeah Tsukune?"

"What are we doing?"

We had been left to our own devices considering we had no luck when it came to fishing. Gin actually caught 3 fish but every catch was the size of my pinky. If I were a bit more rude and crude, it would be the size of his di-

"I was going to say go pick up girls but then you would die." He said putting his hands in his pockets. "You already have Moka and Kurumu, and one must consider the law of obligatory beach episodes."

"What's an obligatory beach episode?" I ask.

He snickered a bit. "The episode where you go to the beach."

"I know what it is, but I meant to ask what's it supposed to mean?"

I heard a "tsk" before he nearly transformed. Nearly.

* * *

 **The Obligatory Beach Episode Guidelines**

 **Setup: 3 Day 2 Night trip, yukata, shounen character charisma, false bravery, motive**

 **Step 1: Forget the whole reason you went to the beach.**

 **Step 2: Wait until night before you remember why you went to the beach.**

 **Step 3: Jumpscare scene with destined one to increase love points.**

 **Step 4: Discuss conflict for the following night.**

 **Step 5: Fail the first night.**

 **Step 6: ?**

 **Step 7: NEW HAREM MEMBER**

 **Repeat the following steps in following episodes to then further the bond between you and your harem.**

* * *

This is, without a a doubt, the biggest piece of shit to ever grace the DIY world. Yet it explains half of our situations down to a tee. And anime.

. . .

So how did it all come true?

I'm wandering through the many sunflowers with Yukari on my shoulders and Moka and Kurumu on my left and right arms respectively. I had suggested someone monitor Gin since he was all by himself but an unspoken conversation went way over my head and a mutual "no" resounded.

I will never understand a woman's heart. Or anything about her, to be honest.

"I've never really been one for nature." I said pushing through the many plants making sure not to push them down and step on them.

"I'm actually surprised. So you used to live in an urban area or something?" asked Yukari.

"It wasn't the heart of the city but it was the heart of suburbs, though it doesn't take long to commute to either the city or the countryside." I said thinking of the festivals we had at the nearby shrine. "When we went to festivals at night there was enough light to see but not enough to block out the stars."

"As expected of Tsukune, his handsomeness complemented by a homely family. What I wouldn't give to start a family with him."

"As expected the slut, you're running way too deep into your fantasies." Yukari gave her mischievous smirk. "Isn't it only natural he'd want to be with a wife whom retains her youthful vigor?"

"Damn brat, who the hell gave you the right to ask for the position of wife." Kurumu started shouting throwing the conversation into another argument for the position of lover/wife/concubine/friend/girlfriend.

I really do hate this its mindless and somewhat annoying, it sums up the entire ride to this place. It's hot despite the light amount of clothing, too many bodies crowd around me and in my rush to get this over with I trip on a loose piece of dirt forcing many plants down with me.

I was dragged away by the viney stalks. I could hear the girls call for me trying their best to push through the many sunflowers which obscured their path.

I hate nature. Why did this have to happen to me.

* * *

. . .

"Mistress, your tea is ready."

I blink away any leftover grogginess. The moonlight barely lighting the room through the stained glass window.

"..." The silence deafening until overgrowth reaches for the teacup before retracting back towards an old woman in a very fancy bed.

I stay silent letting the situation sink without hysteria. I am in an old room. The overgrowth in plants means I must be somewhere considered abandoned.

 _". . . If the story is a dead end there's always the ruined castle to investigate."_ It's a possibility but that was quite the distance from the beach. I was dragged here by plants too so the only way I could have gotten here was through magic.

"So you are awake." Pink eyes on a heart shaped face with dark brown hair cascading downwards along with 2 ponytails. She wore a pink corset and black skirt which gave feelings of a more mature gothic lolita than Yukari. "The mistress has been in a good mood so she decided not to kill you."

Heart leapt to throat when she mentioned that I survived off of a very old ivy covered lady having a "good" day.

I could feel the blood rushing out of my face and it was nauseating.

". . ." The overgrowth moved to gesture to the apprentice witch apparently. ". . ."

"That's right I did forget to ask him about that!"

I heard nothing from the ancient witch but it looks like she has a way of talking with her apprentice somehow. I'll just chalk it up to mind reading magic or something like that.

"There was a little witch in your group, the shortest one. I want you to pass on a message to her."

I nodded trying not to further incur the wrath of the witches.

"Good boy." she said cradling the side of my face. ""The Witches' Knoll is always happy to welcome new students." Please don't forget to tell her that for us."

Vines grew uncontrollably wrapping themselves around me. The vines that previously covered the stained glass window parted revealing that rather than a window it was many shards of glass stuck on vines giving the illusion of a window. While I had been distracted by the rapidly changing scenery I had failed to realize it was set up like a ballista.

And it sent me straight into the night sky.

* * *

"If you'll excuse me mistress, I'll be retiring for the night."

". . ."

"Ah that's right it's not 'if you'll excuse me.' It is 'by your leave, mistress.'"

". . . ?"

"O-of course I haven't you are my teacher as well as my caretaker there's no way I would disrespect you like that."

". . . ?"

"Yes I did enchant him, he should have the message clearly imprinted in his mind. Even then I don't think he would be as ignorant as to forget YOUR orders."

". . ."

"Thank you mistress..."

". . ."

"What is it?"

". . . !"

". . . understood."

* * *

I did not sleep well that night and everyone knew exactly why. By morning most of us had dark circles under our eyes and the sun was just a pain to deal with.

As per my orders from last night, I delivered my message of Yukari being "invited" to the Witch's Knoll. A somewhat uncreative name but considering it has many rumors surrounding the place, it's somewhat fitting in our "Human" culture.

Like a vampire Kurumu insisted on staying in her tent much like Moka, whom took one look at the white sand and blue seas and decided that the world was too troublesome to deal with. But not troublesome enough to take a bit of blood from me before heading back to her tent to get some well deserved sleep.

'She wasn't even pretending to do our usual routine.' I sighed heading to Kurumu's tent for a bit. After declaring that she was taking me into her tent for sleep, there was obviously protest and lead to the three girls just sharing with me. It was hot, cramped and embarassing. Moka can't stand extreme heat so she was the first to leave taking Yukari with, as she had clearly latched onto her and passed out before any of us.

Still that left me with Kurumu and it was so much easier for us to sleep. That helped me somewhat but she was the most "proportioned" of the group and she was completely obsessed with me.

I talked about how she's been a bit more doting lately taking even better care of me for a while now. The only reason I'm even in her tent is so I can get my blanket and leave. I couldn't argue yesterday cause I was so tired but now in the morning when I'm slightly more rested it makes me feel like I can actually put up an argument against. . .

. . . a sleeping girl.

Oh well if you can't beat em' join em.

* * *

Kurumu let out a mischevious giggle as she snuggled with the object of her affections.

It was gonna be a real good nap for her. She'll definitely tell you if you ask her.

* * *

 **10 -** **#*% &!***

One of the most awkward things a man can do is explain to his best friend's mother how her son may or may not be building a harem, or that he's been injured in any way, or that her husband died after inviting him to spend a few nights there.

Poor Krillin.

But there was no way I could tell Kyoko, jackshit about the academy. She'd pull him out by the tailbone before eloping and placing him under house arrest. Kasumi would only send him to a psychiatrist. So I deliberated between telling the one who would keep him safe.

I talked to Kyoko anyway, not letting Kasumi corner me on her own, nor giving away too many details to make things look even worse than Tsukune actually thinks it is. Having to face the wrath of women for differing reasons. It's a stupid plan that relies on throwing Tsukune under a bus, Kyoko actually believing me, and believing in Tsukune's charms.

"What do you mean he only has 4 other friends?"

A difficult prospect indeed. I shrugged at Kyoko who might start frothing at the mouth. "3 female friends, 2 of whom are dateable material."

Her eyes narrowed, a suspicious glare being thrown my way. "What do you consider dateable material even?"

"Anything not below the age of 13." One would assume that I was joking especially since my pokerface is garbage.

Because it's so garbage people can never tell whether or not I'm actually serious, which makes it the perfect poker face. It just so happens that I am serious and it would be hard to believe that a 12 year old girl actually made it to high school.

"I need names. I can't plan for my future in-law if I can't get a single name out of you."

I raise an eyebrow at her determination. "Why don't you ask Tsukune about dating anyone at our school?"

"You know how he is. Constantly hiding even the smallest things from us. He's not here but his right hand man is."

I actually resent that remark since she would be the left hand woman. He's actually my right hand man, who happened to overthrow me as the main character. "He has a crush on one of them so I guess it's fine to tell you about her.

"What'shername?Where'sshefrom?Issheaforiegner?Howcuteisshe?Doesshehaveanysiblings?Isthereabackstory?Issherichandfamous?Doyoulikeher?"

Shut up Genocide Kyo. "I personally don't like her."

It actually got her to stop mid interrogation. I don't normally like a lot of people but for me to say it out loud is somewhat rare. Especially behind someone's back.

"What's she like?"

It took me a while to find the words. but when I did they came smoothly. "A mirrored Tsukune, but it feels worse since she's female and has an obsession with Tsukune and nice streak that'll make a few people sick."

"Sounds like him alright."

"No, even worse. She's childish at times getting in the way of his pursuit of a romantic relationship in the name of friendship." I'm ranting frustrated with their lack of progress. "One moment it looks like their gonna kiss before she voluntarily drags him away to places unknown it certainly isn't for a kiss, if his frustrated sighs mean anything. She encourages him to try and take the next step before she takes 2 steps back."

"You . . ." she started off hesitantly. ". . . are getting surprisingly worked up about this."

"Of course I am. I spent the last month and a half watching the pathetic game of cat and mouse, while other girls who make their position clear about their feelings for Tsukune are left in the dust with me, who happens to be the closest guy to him and guided him around high school life. I'm stuck in an endless cycle of playing the supporting friend of the girls that Tsukune keeps avoiding, instead of being an actual friend to the guy."

Part of the reason I didn't want to anyone about this is because no one really gets this frustrated feeling. I'm essentially thrown into the backseat with every other friend as the guy drives after someone who can't decide between getting in the van or continuing to take the cab of solitude. I dislike my angry outbursts and so I'd rather take it out on people in a tangible way, rather than verbal.

She sat back down on the bed. Much calmer than when she first started shoving questions down my throat like they were di-

"So you hate her . . . that's it? Don't you know the yaoi route is forbidden, right?"

I don't know if this girl was born with mental deficiencies or she's intentionally acting like an idiot. "Yes . . ."

. . .

". . . No. I almost hate her. It's a mystery if she's doing this on purpose or not."

"Wouldn't it piss you off even more if she wasn't doing this on purpose?"

Yes it would. And that's what's making this so frustrating. I know how one half of her feels but the other half. . .

 _"I'm only doing this to protect the other Moka. As for a replacement blood source, I suppose you'll have to do."_

It doesn't help her case. It's an unhealthy relationship between predator and prey. "The only one I can count on in this situation is Kurumu who will hopefully open his eyes a bit more to the possibilities."

"Who?"

I said that out loud. "The other girl whom Tsukune gets to legally date."

"Legally date? How old is the third girl again?"

"12" and instantly Kyo's face twists into the most hideous thing I could ever see on the girl. Pretty hard to do considering she's mildly cute despite her rough and tough attitude towards some people.

"Ignoring the possibility of Tsukune turning to the dark side of pedophilia, Kurumu gives off a horrible first impression."

Kyoko actual snorts at the idea of ME saying someone gives a bad first impression.

"She's loud and peppy. Has enough energy to light the town on fire but won't actually do it. A massive flirt-"

Again Kyoko interrupts."I though you said she could be trusted to help Tsukune?"

". . . a massive flirt when it comes to the one she loves. Which happens to be Tsukune."

"She sounds like the type to switch every other week."

"Used to be but redeemed herself, actually coming to me before she went to Tsukune to confess and other things."

It took a while for me to fully believe her but when she had gone at least 3 days without flirting with another guy I decided to go full throttle and tell her everything she might need to know to endure the hardship of the path to Tsukune's heart.

How did Moka get there? She took the elevator named cliche first girl's crash.

"I noticed you didn't ask about the last one."

"What last one?"

I grin. 'Twas a cheeky grin that did indeed adorn my face as I said. "cousinlover."

I landed in the backyard. Luckily there were no lasting injuries.

* * *

Yukari is a girl that was easily frightened. Her attempts at acting more than her age would suggest insecurity about how many grades she skipped to get where she is. Any attempts to show her genius were thwarted by the fact that she is a witch.

And no one could ever like a witch except for another of their kind.

 _The Witches' Knoll is a place brimming with shrubbery. It welcomed few in the day, and fewer in the night. The plants give an enchanted, almost ethereal look to abandoned chapel, making it a holy place that held the so called heathens of society; witches. Now it is a place of isolation, left forgotten by those who once populated its halls, whom all left to pursue their own goals._

 _Everyone left. Except for Lady Oyakata._

 _Before it was an abandoned chapel it was a school of nature witchcraft. The flower field was their training grounds and only certain classes and teachers were able to use it for fear of the Human settlements being too close._

 _Lady Oyakata was one of those select students._

 _Some brought plants to life, watched the seedlings grow into living plants. Gave them sentience and raised them as if they were their own children. Given love and respect they became doting familiars. Others tamed local wildlife and trained them to perform tasks and follow them into the depths of hell itself._

 _Lady Oyakata had many of these servants, willing to do anything she asked or die trying._

 _However a grave accident happened that ended with the headmaster's death along with many others._ _In the will of the former Headmaster the most gifted and talented of them all would be able to lead them all._

 _Who else could lead but Lady Oyakata?_

 _Known for her passive aggressive behavior towards humans, or rather people in general, she took over the Academy after graduating. Her abrasive attitude often drove students away from her. Then it was teacher's. As the years went by, as her bitter attitude grew. . ._

It was abandoned.

"You must be Yukari."

She jumped frightened at the idea of this place being haunted. She was a witch not an exorcist. All she had on her was her staff and an old broom for faster travel.

She appeared behind Yukari. Pink eyes glowing softly in the evening light.

"My name is Rubi Toujo. We've been expecting you."

* * *

 **Tsukune**

Night time at the beach near Witches' Knoll and Yukari is hardly anywhere to be seen.

It's not surprising, and something we were concerned about the whole time since I relayed the message. It was more. . . disappointing that she had decided to move out on her own.

"Is everyone ready? Chances are that Yuka-tan went on ahead to protect us." Gin said for once taking things seriously. "But as part of the Newspaper club we won't let her go until we get the full story."

'He seems to be taking his job seriously for once.' I flinched when his serious gaze turned to me.

"How many of them did you see in there?"

"I think it was just two of them. A really old one and then someone who looked at least 17."

His face lightened up a bit. I don't need to ask why.

"Focus on taking out the younger witch then, she's most likely acting as support. Hold nothing back against the older one. Not only does she have more experience than the girl, but has a larger repertoire of spells and the ability to cast them more efficiently, so we can't afford to hold anything back against her."

I can't tell whether or not he's serious. He's clearly just trying to score with a girl he hasn't even met yet, but makes it sound so serious. "So you and Moka will take on the Elder Witch, while we prevent the younger witch from casting any supporting spells? I'm not really all that strong to fight alongside Kurumu."

"No, I'd be more comfortable if Moka and Yukari fought the elder witch, with Moka being unsealed by Tsukune beforehand, Yukari will hopefully follow her overwhelming presence. Kurumu, Tsukune, and I will be taking care of the younger one with my natural speed and Kurumu's claws being enough to distract her. Naturally we'll be guarding you at the same time Tsukune, who will be preventing the Elder witch from resealing our powerhouse."

You can't make a genius battle plan like that with those intentions. It completely defeats the purpose of investigating the disappearances or preventing them at all.

But like all good plans it comes to an end. Kurumu was the one to end his terrible idea. "I'm aiming for her magic staff and not the her clothes."

Gin visibly deflated at the denied thought of a girl's clothing getting torn to shreds. "The plan still remains."

* * *

Our trek through the plant life was much more difficult than before. Flowers and vines were much more difficult to push out of their way.

"How did Yukari of all people get through this?" Gin asked anrgily pushng a way a sunflower stalk before it came back with a vengeance to smack him in the back of the head.

"She had taken her broom so she might've just flown right over these things." Moka said pushing them away much calmer than any of us.

"As expected of the genius witch. I'm jealous of her." Kurumu shoved them away as well and a few plants had thorns occasionally pricking her

"Don't you have wings? You can just fly right over there." Gin asked again this time being a bit more gentle with the plants, still getting smacked for his troubles.

"It would defeat the whole purpose of going as a group." She stopped bothering with pretense of nicities of vengeful plants and pulled out her claws.

"Kurumu's right. It would only make her wait for us and she can only really carry one other person with the rest of us just being a burden." Moka said.

"Why not have Kurumu carry Moka over there and have them lead the witches out here?" I asked.

"Too risky. They won't necessarily want to follow trespassers out to the beach just to kill them. And who knows if they decide to use the plant life to their advantage? We all saw what happened when you tripped yesterday."

I am painfully aware of how useless I am here, please don't make it apparent.

* * *

It took longer than expected, but by the time we arrived the full moon was high in the sky. Stars trickled along and in the distance one could see the city light and its surrounding light pollution. In contrast the abandoned chapel sucked the light out of the surrounding area.

Unlike me everyone seemed relatively unfazed. By the logic of Youkai: "What is terrifying for humans is majestic by us".

I had just gotten over my trauma of the school. I'll just need to power through this, letting Gin take charge. Ever since our run in with PSC he's been cautious and somewhat more reliable, but he's still a perv at heart.

He lead us through the many ivy covered corridors that were colored with shadows and little light from the surrounding plants.

. . .

It took a bit of wandering and a brief split up but we eventually found the main room. It was a bit of misunderstanding on our part: looking for a door not covered in ivy, when we were supposed to look for the door with the most greenery.

`The Witch's Knoll is a school for you to master the Nature Arts. We welcome all practitioners of witchcraft that wish to learn, explore, and love the Earth we wander.`

Considering that Yukari knows only the basics and tarot magic one would think she'd want to know. It was impressive when she first showed me tarot card magic. It isn't the flashiest magic but it's pretty complex considering humans use it for extremely vague future sight or scams. There even different types of decks.

"Tsukune head out of the clouds." Gin snapped his fingers bringing me out of my daze and inner monologue. "Are you two ready?"

"Yes."Her face set in a cute sort of determination as she turned to me. "Take it off."

. . . I am going to deliberately misinterpret her words one day.

With simple tug it clicked out of place before energy and such burst out of her filling out more areas making her beautiful instead of cute.

 _"I never knew her cup size changed along with her face. That's actually impressive."_

 _"You know I can't help but agree. Hey if I was a sealed vampire instead of a werewolf you think my - "_

 _They were both sent right through the window._

 _"Take this as a lesson from me Tsukune. If I ever catch you acting in a perverted way I will make sure your children in the next life will feel your pain."_

"What are we waiting for? Sendou is waiting on us." Moka said barging straight into the room with no regard for the plant life that quickly parted from her.

Kurumu was pouting for some reason. I only noticed because she suddenly shoved my arm into her cleavage.

* * *

"It looks like your friends have arrived." Rubi said with a hollow smile. Yukari couldn't tell whether or not it was meant to hold anything. "Aren't you going to go talk to them?"

* * *

 **14,134 words.**

 **(A/N): Holy Hell this took too long and I had to cut it in half I'm sorry please forgive me and laziness and DRV3 and school. To think this almost reached 20k and it isn't the complete chapter. I wrote a lot and not all of it was related to this chapter. Hopefully this next time around I'll post more for different stories as well as this one.**

 **(Edited 06.14.18)**


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